I Need A Y-wing Fighter Up In Here

Yesterday my friend J. and I were tooling around town. One of our stops was to the local grocery store. As we were walking out of the store and meandering back to the car, I noticed that this guy made a really random face at J. as he checked her out. I couldn't tell if he approved or disapproved of what he saw. So, I told J. that some crazy guy just checked her out. She turned around and said something, and we started to laugh.

We got back to the car and started to get in when the woman in the car next to us rolled down the passenger-side window and yelled over at us: "I saw you laughing at that woman. You all shouldn't be sos ig'nant. Get some culture." This crazy woman assumed that because she saw us laughing we had to be laughing at Darth Burka who was walking into the store about 10 feet ahead of the guy that checked J. out. (I know I shouldn't call this arabic woman 'Darth Burka' but she was all covered from head to toe in cloth with only that Cylon strip of an eyeslot to see out of.)

OF COURSE, J. and I noticed her -- it's hard to miss something like that. J. was thinking "wow, she must be really hot under all that cloth." I was thinking "holy crap. It's amazing that a woman's ankle or wrist or any part of her body is so subversive that the men in her culture have to keep her all wrapped up because the power of her pussy is so great that they won't be able to control themselves if they see even a bit of her pinky toe."

We ignored the crazy woman in the car next to us hurling insults at us, which she continued to do while we got into the car, loaded our stuff in and got ready to leave. Finally, as we were pulling out she screamed out the window "That woman was about as funny as you being fat." (J. is a big woman, and this lady had a real beef with J. In fact, all of her rants were directed at J. and not me.)

J. was really bothered by this woman's insults. I told her that it didn't matter what we said, this woman was going to have a negative impression of us no matter what. J. eventually got over the parking lot terrorrism, and we went on to enjoy the rest of our day.

To the crazy lady that cussed us out (if you ever read this blog):

1. before you accuse someone of being culturally insensitive, you might want to be sure you know what you're talking about.
2. before you call someone ig'nant, you might want to actually learn how to speak proper English.
3. J. was engaged to a muslim for 3 years.
4. It's not particularly smart to sit in a car with the windows cracked just a hair on a hot day in the middle of a sunny parking lot. It's even less smart -- ignorant even -- to have your baby in the backseat.
5. I would assume that being a black woman you would be fed up with people teasing you and thinking less of you because of your most obvious physical trait. Therefore, it was really uncool for you to go for the gold and insult J. on her most obvious physical trait because we were ignoring you and not wanting to start any fight with you.
6. Mind your own business.
7. That is all.