August 22, 2006

Consolation Prize

So, I was browsing the internets this morning, catching up on my news and seeing if anything else has blown up, or been sucked up by the next massive super-hurricane, and I came across this.

Most of my friends know that I'm a SG-1 junkie, although my addiction isn't quite as powerful as a crack-addict's need for a fix. Let's just say I own several seasons on DVD, and I'm slowly working my way through Season 4 right now and I bought Season 5 as a birthday gift to myself a few weeks ago. Also, MajorTexas and I have a Friday night ritual where we watch the new run episodes of SG-1, SG-A and Battlestar Galactica. (Although, with Sci-Fi's odd decision to start airing Season 3 of BG in October, and the StarGates in July -- there has been no Battlestar in the line up yet this season.) I digress.

Quite honestly, I'm a bit sad to see the original series go. It's one of the few decently written/acted/directed/produced shows on TV these days. And the idea behind it has intrigued me since I saw the original movie back in 1994. However, I'm not stark raving mad like some of the fanboys on the sci-fi message boards complaining that Sci-Fi has "totally screwed them over." (If you want some good quality conspiracy theories on the demise of Stargate SG-1, head on over to Sci-Fi and check out the bboard.) Ten seasons are a long time for any series to be on the air, and it's a vertible eternity for a science fiction series to be on the air. At this point, I still enjoy watching the show -- so better that it leave while it's still good than say hang around for 2 years after it's died like something bad out of The Reanimator. X-Files I'm looking at you!!!

Now if you want real outrage about a series being sent to its demise, just look at what happened to Dead Like Me. That show got reaped way before its time was up all because some idiot at ShoTime decided he wanted to do only shows that he brought to the station, so he cleaned the decks of all the programming that his precedecessor had put in place. The silver lining here is that, while Sci-Fi is debateably shooting itself in the foot by not renewing it's flagship series, it has however picked up Dead Like Me and is airing the episodes every Tuesday from 7-9. Maybe, just maybe, they'll pick the series up and start making new episodes.

August 18, 2006

It's A National Holiday

OK, so maybe it isn't a national holiday, but today should be one. Today is the best day evar! It totally roxors!!!11onene!!!1

You see, today, Snakes on a Plane is out in theaters. That's right those rascally motherfarking snakes will be all up in that plane's business and we'll have Samuel L. Jackson to save us from their venomy-goodness.

In honor of today, I give you this. Enjoy!



That's right bitches! It's Snarfs on a Plane!

Can You Hear Me Now?

So the other day, I got home from work -- completely exhausted as usual. The dog's running around the house like she's never let out of her crate and the cat is hiding some where but still meowing at the top of his lungs. I rifle through the mail to see if anything good came. It didn't. But I did get this nice and pretty shiny silver envelope from Verizon Wireless (my cell provider). They want to give me a free gift for being such good customer. They want me to know how much they value me and my business. I open the shiny envelope and I've won an Oscar! Whoo-Hooo. I'd like to thank the members of the Academy.

OK, back to reality. They actually gave me 100 free Anytime Minutes -- that have to be redeemed by November xx, 2006 or they're gone. Now, I'm on the family share plan, and my better (or not so better, depending on your point of view) half and I don't come anywhere near using all our minutes each month. So, they've basically given us a gift that they know we can't use. Add in the fact that I've been with these people for 6 years, and I had to go through customer service hell to get my "deposit" back from when I first signed up with them, I'm completely underwhelmed with them. In fact, you could say, instead of impresing me with their company and corporate do-goodness, they actually managed to remind me of all the reason why I think they're a horrible company. So, Verizon Wireless:

Suck It!

*it's too bad you have the best coverage in the Metro Area or I'd ditch your sorry butts.

I Stand Corrected

Pretty Princess Update:
So, I have to revise my initial thoughts about the P.P. I ride the bus with. Today 2 things happened which made me re-evaluate my initial assessment of her royal snootiness -- one upwards and one downwards.

1) She was exceptionally late for the bus this morning. She gets on one stop before I do, and I saw the bus rounding the corner and what to my wondering eyes did appear as the bus pulled into Ms. Gucci-Prada-LV's stop? That's right, Mz. Thing (she's not married, she's a got a huge hunk of a faux-rock on her wedding finger that definately isn't a wedding ring, but most assuredly is costume jewelery from Wal*Mart), came tearing around the corner after the bus, ribbons streaming out behind her head from her black EasterBonnet hat. She makes it to the stop and what does she do? As people are waiting in line to get on the bus, she barrels in front of the only guy left waiting to get on the bus and hops on in front of him. Minus 160 Pretty Points Mz. Princess. See that line there? See those people waiting? The correct thing to do is wait your turn in line behind everyone else who was there in front of you.

2) As it turns out Mz. Overly-Made-Up-Thang, also rides the same metro line as I do, and transfers at the same station that I do. (I forgot to mention that she's got a nose like Michael Jackson circa 2001, and wears so much foundation/blush you can actually see it sparkle on her face. Yes, my dear Viriginia, it actually looks like the stuff has crystalized on her face.) So, we're waiting for the train, and I see Mz. P.P. standing next to me, and then some random Latino comes up and starts babbling in Spanish at her. She initially looked at him like he was crazy and I thought to myself "Silly Latino, don't you know one doesn't speak to the Prettiest of Princesses?" The train arrived and she actually sat down next to the Latino and started speaking in Spanish with him!!! And she actually smiled at him!! My world view has been altered. I love that she speaks Spanish, so despite her initial hob-snobbery I give her +161 pretty points.

Net Result: The whole bus stop incident was pretty heinous, so -160, but the cool Spanish talking with the commoners +161. She earns 1 point today, because as cool as the metro incident was, it wasn't enough to atone for her bus stunt.

Behave yourself Mz. Princess, we're out there watching you.

August 10, 2006

The Prettiest of Princesses

Each morning I wait (not-so-patiently) at the bus stop for the bus to show up whenever it damn well pleases. Each morning I observe the following behavior from one exceptional Princess. While I'm listening to my iPod and cussing the bus out in my head I see this bitch. She is obviously waiting until she can see the bus from her Princess Palace, because I see her stroll down the lane and casually get a Washingon Post from the vend-o-box. Then she casually strolls across 4 (that's right, count 'em up FOUR lanes of traffic) to the bus stop. If she's early she oh-so-subtly cuts to the front of the line in front of 10 other people and stands there reading her paper. If she's late, well, then she waves pretty-princessily at the bus to stop (and it does) and she saunters through the oncoming trafic. I see this EVERY morning.

Now to the best part, the physical description. What do you suppose our Pretty Princess wears? What are her accoutrements? What are her accessories? Let me tell you. Each morning has her wearing a different hat (think Easter Hat complete with ribbon and wide brim). She is also wearing a nicely pressed dress with matching blazer or sweater -- I've never seen her wear pants. Under her wide brim you can see a VERY large pair of Gucci sunglasses that take up at least 50% of her face. The Gucci logo on the side of the glasses takes up at least 20% of the total sunglass volume. Then on her arm you see the typical LV tote. The pattern -- flawless. The pattern -- larger-than-life. The pattern -- you can see if from a mile away. Then just in front of the LV tote, facing out so you can see the label is a green suede Prada purse.

Of course, once we're on the bus, she sniffs and acts like the whole conveyance is beneath her. She spreads all her stuff out across at least 3 seats on an over crowded bus so us plebes can't sit anywhere near her. Such a tiny little nose stuck so far up, such beady little eyes hidden behind the large glasses (which I've never seen off her face), such total Valley Girl perfection. (From now on I shall call her Hillary, because I imagine that all shallow, self-absorbed, valley people are called Hillary.) But unlike us super friendly talk to people Hillaries, she's an aloof Hillary. An above it all Hillary. A vertiable Nouveau Hillary.

The best part about this Hillary par example is that ... all her shit is KNOCK OFF. I know this because the Prada bag looks rather tatty, and so does the LV bag. A real Hillary would buy herself a new Prada the minute, nay the second the suede started to get nappy. All of her clothes have seen better days, or more likely she's trying to look riche and buying the cheap imitation crap. She's wearing the hat(s) to cover up the grey in her hair that she can't afford to dye away.

Nouveau Hillary -- you've been put on notice. Cut the holier than thou act! Little do you know it, but you're riding the bus with a REAL HILLARY, and real Hillary's NEVER flash so much bling, we don't need to flash all that label around. You'll never know that my shoes are Kenneth Cole, and my watch is Citizen because their logos aren't emblazoned all over the place. (And for the record, merchandise with the smaller logo, or no logo at all is MORE expensive than the stuff with the large logos.) Lastly, you're on notice Nouveau Hillary, because I've like totally seen your employee ID badge. *SNAP* you work at the HUD! That's like totally the Office of Housing and Urban Development! *snap* *Snap* *SNAP* You've been officially gagged with a spoon Nouveau Hillary!

Toodles,

The real Slim Hillary.