Book Meme -- Ganked from Jen

*bold those you’ve read
*italicise started-but-never-finished
*add three of your own
*post to your blog

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. 1984, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Susskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett
103. The Beach, Alex Garland
104. Dracula, Bram Stoker
105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth
110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy
112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 1/2, Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy
116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
119. Shogun, James Clavell
120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray
123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy
124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett
127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison
128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle
129. Possession, A. S. Byatt
130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood
132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl
133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck
134. George’s Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett
136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan
139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
144. It, Stephen King
145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile, Stephen King
147. Papillon, Henri Charriere
148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
149. Master And Commander, Patrick O’Brian
150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement, Ian McEwan
155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey
158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling
160. Cross Stitch, Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
162. River God, Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx
165. The World According To Garp, John Irving
166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches, Roald Dahl
170. Charlotte’s Web, E. B. White
171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco
175. Sophie’s World, Jostein Gaarder
176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Roald Dahl
178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery (in French)
181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens
183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner, George Eliot
185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis
186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Gross-mith
187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh
188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine
189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri
190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence
191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons
193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett
194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells
195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle
200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia Andrews
201. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
202. The Eye of the World, Robert Jordan
203. The Great Hunt, Robert Jordan
204. The Dragon Reborn, Robert Jordan
205. Fires of Heaven, Robert Jordan
206. Lord of Chaos, Robert Jordan
207. Winter’s Heart, Robert Jordan
208. A Crown of Swords, Robert Jordan
209. Crossroads of Twilight, Robert Jordan
210. A Path of Daggers, Robert Jordan
211. As Nature Made Him, John Colapinto
212. Microserfs, Douglas Coupland
213. The Married Man, Edmund White
214. Winter’s Tale, Mark Helprin
215. The History of Sexuality, Michel Foucault
216. Cry to Heaven, Anne Rice
217. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe, John Boswell
218. Equus, Peter Shaffer
219. The Man Who Ate Everything, Jeffrey Steingarten
220. Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke
221. Ella Minnow Pea, Mark Dunn
222. The Vampire Lestat, Anne Rice
223. Anthem, Ayn Rand
224. The Bridge To Terabithia, Katherine Paterson
225. Tartuffe, Moliere
226. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
227. The Crucible, Arthur Miller
228. The Trial, Franz Kafka
229. Oedipus Rex, Sophocles
230. Oedipus at Colonus, Sophocles
231. Death Be Not Proud, John Gunther
232. A Doll’s House, Henrik Ibsen
233. Hedda Gabler, Henrik Ibsen
234. Ethan Frome, Edith Wharton
235. A Raisin In The Sun, Lorraine Hansberry
236. ALIVE!, Piers Paul Read
237. Grapefruit, Yoko Ono
238. Trickster Makes This World, Lewis Hyde
240. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
241. Chronicles of Thomas Convenant, Unbeliever, Stephen Donaldson
242. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
242. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
243. Summerland, Michael Chabon
244. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
245. Candide, Voltaire
246. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More, Roald Dahl
247. Ringworld, Larry Niven
248. The King Must Die, Mary Renault
249. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
250. A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline L’Engle
251. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde
252. The House Of The Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
253. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
254. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
255. The Great Gilly Hopkins, Katherine Paterson
256. Chocolate Fever, Robert Kimmel Smith
257. Xanth: The Quest for Magic, Piers Anthony
258. The Lost Princess of Oz, L. Frank Baum
259. Wonder Boys, Michael Chabon
260. Lost In A Good Book, Jasper Fforde
261. Well Of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde
261. Life Of Pi, Yann Martel
263. The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver
264. A Yellow Rraft In Blue Water, Michael Dorris
265. Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder
267. Where The Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls
268. Griffin & Sabine, Nick Bantock
269. Witch of Blackbird Pond, Joyce Friedland
270. Mrs. Frisby And The Rats Of NIMH, Robert C. O’Brien
271. Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt
272. The Cay, Theodore Taylor
273. From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, E.L. Konigsburg
274. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster
275. The Westing Game, Ellen Raskin
276. The Kitchen God’s Wife, Amy Tan
277. The Bone Setter’s Daughter, Amy Tan
278. Relic, Duglas Preston & Lincolon Child
279. Wicked, Gregory Maguire
280. American Gods, Neil Gaiman
281. Misty of Chincoteague, Marguerite Henry
282. The Girl Next Door, Jack Ketchum
283. Haunted, Judith St. George
284. Singularity, William Sleator
285. A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
286. Different Seasons, Stephen King
287. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
288. About a Boy, Nick Hornby
289. The Bookman’s Wake, John Dunning
290. The Church of Dead Girls, Stephen Dobyns
291. Illusions, Richard Bach
292. Magic’s Pawn, Mercedes Lackey
293. Magic’s Promise, Mercedes Lackey
294. Magic’s Price, Mercedes Lackey
295. The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Gary Zukav
296. Spirits of Flux and Anchor, Jack L. Chalker
297. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
298. The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Brenda Love
299. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace.
300. The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison.
301. The Cider House Rules, John Irving.
302. Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card
303. Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland
304. The Lion’s Game, Nelson Demille
305. The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars, Stephen Brust
306. Cyteen, C. J. Cherryh
307. Foucault’s Pendulum, Umberto Eco
308. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson
309. Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
310. Camber of Culdi, Kathryn Kurtz
311. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
312. War and Rememberance, Herman Wouk
313. The Art of War, Sun Tzu
314. The Giver, Lois Lowry
315. The Telling, Ursula Le Guin
316. Xenogenesis (or Lilith’s Brood), Octavia Butler
317. A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold
318. The Curse of Chalion, Lois McMaster Bujold
319. The Aeneid, Publius Vergilius Maro (Vergil)
320. Hanta Yo, Ruth Beebe Hil
l321. The Princess Bride, S. Morganstern (or William Goldman)
322. Beowulf, Anonymous
323. The Sparrow, Maria Doria Russel
l324. Deerskin, Robin McKinley
325. Dragonsong, Anne McCaffrey
326. Passage, Connie Willis
327. Otherland, Tad Williams
328. Tigana, Guy Gavriel Kay
329. Number the Stars, Lois Lowry
330. Beloved, Toni Morrison
331. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore
332. The mysterious disappearance of Leon, I mean Noel, Ellen Raskin
333. Summer Sisters, Judy Blume
334. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo
335. The Island on Bird Street, Uri Orlev
336. Midnight in the Dollhouse, Marjorie Filley Stover
337. The Miracle Worker, William Gibson
338. The Genesis Code, John Case
339. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevensen
340. Paradise Lost, John Milton
341. Phantom, Susan Kay
342. The Mummy or Ramses the Damned, Anne Rice
343. Anno Dracula, Kim Newman
344: The Dresden Files: Grave Peril, Jim Butcher
345: Tokyo Suckerpunch, Issac Adamson
346: The Winter of Magic’s Return, Pamela Service
347: The Oddkins, Dean R. Koontz
348. My Name is Asher Lev, Chaim Potok
349. The Last Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
350. At Swim, Two Boys, Jaime O’Neill
351. Othello, by William Shakespeare
352. The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas
353. The Collected Poems of William Butler Yeats
354. Sati, Christopher Pike
355. The Inferno, Dante
356. The Apology, Plato
357. The Small Rain, Madeline L’Engle
358. The Man Who Tasted Shapes, Richard E Cytowick
359. 5 Novels, Daniel Pinkwater
360. The Sevenwaters Trilogy, Juliet Marillier
361. Girl with a Pearl Earring, Tracy Chevalier
362. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
363. Our Town, Thorton Wilder
364. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
365. The Interpreter, Suzanne Glass
366. The Moor’s Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
367. The Mother Tongue, Bill Bryson
368. A Passage to India, E.M. Forster loved
369. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
370. The Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux
371. Pages for You, Sylvia Brownrigg
372. The Changeover, Margaret Mahy
373. Howl’s Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones
374. Angels and Demons, Dan Brown
375. Johnny Got His Gun, Dalton Trumbo
376. Shosha, Isaac Bashevis Singer
377. Travels With Charley, John Steinbeck
378. The Diving-bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
379. The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
380. Time for Bed by David Baddiel
381. Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold
382. Quite Ugly One Morning by Christopher Brookmyre
383. The Bloody Sun by Marion Zimmer Bradley
384. Sewer, Gas, and Eletric by Matt Ruff
385. Jhereg by Steven Brust
386. So You Want To Be A Wizard by Diane Duane
387. Perdido Street Station, China Mieville
388. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte
389. Road-side Dog, Czeslaw Milosz
390. The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
391. Neuromancer, William Gibson
392. The Epistemology of the Closet, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
393. A Canticle for Liebowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr
394. The Mask of Apollo, Mary Renault
395. The Gunslinger, Stephen King
396. Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare
397. Childhood’s End, Arthur C. Clarke
398. A Season of Mists, Neil Gaiman
399. Ivanhoe, Walter Scott
400. The God Boy, Ian Cross
401. The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, Laurie R. King
402. Finn Family Moomintroll, Tove Jansson
403. Misery, Stephen King
404. Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters
405. Hood, Emma Donoghue
406. The Land of Spices, Kate O’Brien
407. The Diary of Anne Frank
408. Regeneration, Pat Barker
409. Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald
410. Dreaming in Cuban, Cristina Garcia
411. A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
412. The View from Saturday, E.L. Konigsburg
413. Dealing with Dragons, Patricia Wrede
414. Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Lynne Truss
415. A Severed Wasp - Madeleine L’Engle
416. Here Be Dragons - Sharon Kay Penman
417. The Mabinogion (Ancient Welsh Tales) - translated by Lady Charlotte E. Guest
418. The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancey
419. Girl Meets God, Lauren Winner
420. Traveling Light, Max Lucado
421. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, David Wroblewski
422. Kiss of the Spider Woman, Manuel Puig
423. A Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin

Addendum to the Booksplosion

In the great list of books I've read to keep me from going crazy 2008 edition, I completely overlooked one: Marley and Me. Everyone should read this book. Part biography of a young family starting out, part memoir, part story of the world's worst dog, this book was so good I read it in one sitting. Even if you're not a dog lover, you will be extremely touched by this book. Grogan adeptly captures and relates how dog-owners feel about their 4-legged fur children. You'll laugh at Marley's exploits, you'll groan with embarrassment at some of his more public misdeeds, and you'll share the overwhelming grief that comes from having to say good-bye to a loved pet. But I think most importantly, Marley's story will have you fondly (and probably tearfully) recalling memories of those pets that have came and brought so much joy into your lives.

Extra! Extra!

Somehow, despite all the crazy that has been going on my life lately, I’ve been on a major reading jag. Since the start of my trip to LA on June 25th, I’ve worked my way through quite a number of novels.

The Well of Ascension: Second in a trilogy, what I liked best is that the characters are very well realized. Also, Sanderson uses standard fantasy elements but they don’t yield the standard fantasy result. This bodes well for A Memory of Light, which Sanderson has been asked to write due to the untimely demise of The Wheel of Time’s Robert Jordan.

The Last Oracle: A good, but not great action/adventure novel. It’s got a great premise, but it’s not as well realized as some of Rollins’ other books and ideas. Still, Rollins is one of my favorites, so it made for a fun summer read.

The Innocent Mage/The Awakened Mage: This was a great find, and I’m glad Tor Books has been bringing Australian and Canadian authors to American audiences. Great world, interesting ideas. What I liked best was Miller’s revealing of plot secrets – elements that could have added a mystery-like feel to the novels she reveals to the reader almost immediately, while holding off on other more explosive elements (that you can’t see coming) for quite some time.

The Wheel of Darkness: An OK entry into the Agent Pendergast series of novels. Another good summer read, but nothing to really write home about.

Infoquake: Sci-Fi isn’t my usual thing, and this novel didn’t exactly set the sky on fire for me. However, I can recognize that this is a superior example of the genre. It’s like Donald Trump got set loose on the Virtual Reality Internet of the future.

El Juego del Angel: Ok, I know most of you probably can’t read Spanish, but luckily for you this is the 2nd novel in Zafon's Library of Forgotten Books series. (It’s not so much a series as stories taking place in the same world.) What this means for you is that you can read The Shadow of the Wind (his first novel) as it’s been translated into the English. Just do it, these are easily 2 of the best books I’ve read in years.

Finally, the Malator has gotten me hooked on Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. I’ve read Twilight; I’m halfway through New Moon, and I’ve got Eclipse waiting in the wings.

Oh, I’m also reading Watchers and The Host. If only I could have read this much during Grad School.

Free Lobotomy with Movie Stub

Holy crap on stick, the new Indiana Jones movie is awful. The Major says it’s not as good as 1 or 3 but better than 2. I say it’s the worst of the lot.

Cate Blanchet and her Hair Piece of Doom are absolutely ridiculous as the ‘bad guy.’ If you can ignore the fact that she’s some super secret Soviet psychic spy (who can’t even read Indy’s mind), you probably will be able to get past the fact that her ‘accent’ is all sorts of wrong. Sometimes she sounds like a Russian, sometimes she sounds British, the rest of the time she sounds like a Briton trying to speak with a Russian accent. At any rate, we’ve seen the template for this villain before – and it was done much better in The Last Crusade.

I’m not going to bore everyone with a detailed break-down of archaeological and historical problems with the movie, but NOTE to Speilberg: The Maya lived in Mexico and Central America, the Inca lived in Peru. The people that lived in Amazon were not Inca and they certainly didn’t speak any dialect of Maya. And they also weren’t known to build temples, and most definitely not temples that look like Chichen Itza got dropped into the rain forest.

There’s not much of a plot, and what there is isn’t very compelling. They’ve also seemed to do away with any and all real world physics. Surviving a nuclear blast in a lead-lined fridge that gets rocket launched across half of Nevada. Really? Didn’t Punky Brewster have a special about killer fridges? Super magnetic items (made from non-magnetic material) that are selectively magnetic and attract other non-magnetic metals? WTF? Is that you Mo-Dean, inter dimensional outer space being? As an added bonus we’ve got really pissed off BulletAnt-ArmyAnt hybrids attacking and a car chase that looked lifted from the chase scene on Endor – I was seriously expecting Ewoks to pop up singing “yub-yub” while slinging rocks at things. Finally, the last time I checked a constrictor snake of any stripe is not going to take well to being used as a rope.

There’s only so much good actors can do with a crappy script and premise. This movie had the potential be so much more … all the elements are there. But it seems someone left this in the blender on puree for way too long. Indy 4 is a real lemon of a movie, and there’s no lemonade to be made from this very, very bad thing.

Alphabits

It’s rare that I directly comment on here about books that I’ve read. Yet, I’ve recently finished a handful of books that I’d seriously recommend to other people. In no particular order:

La Historia del rey transparente: This was a very interesting read. The author, Rosa Montero, takes significant liberty with historical facts; historical figures that lived almost 100 years apart are present with the 40-or-so-year lifespan of the protagonist. Interestingly, this adds to the fantasy-like feel of the novel. Of particular interest is the character of Nyneve – who may, or may not be, Morgan La Fey. Fantastical elements occur side-by-side with realistic elements, which creates a very unique and compelling alternate-history of Medieval France (circa the Cathars). Also of note is the story-within-a-story of The Transparent King. It is responsible for some odd happenings in the novel, but it is only related in full as an appendix to the novel. Even then, The Transparent King’s story ends in mid-stride leaving the reader to supply the answer and determine the significance it has for the novel.

Midnight Tides: It took me a long time to get into this novel. Much like Erickson’s first novel, The Gardens of the Moon, the beginning of this novel was a struggle for me. This is due, in part, to the fact that this book – the 5th in the series – introduces an entirely new set of characters, in a new location, with no obvious ties to what has happened in the rest of the series. Another factor is that Erickson meticulously lays the foundation for the events in the latter part of the novel. With the exposition concluded, somewhere around the 300 page mark, things get very interesting indeed. The previously unrelated threads combine for a pretty fantastic finish. Erickson, in my opinion, is probably the best epic fantasist currently writing. However, his style is initially somewhat inaccessible; you have to invest time and thought to fully grasp and familiarize yourself with his world. Midnight Tides is a good read – but the pacing and some lackluster scenes towards the end of the novel keep it from being as great as the previous novels.

Vellum: This book is definitely not an easy read, but it is one of the most innovative and compelling works I’ve read. While you’ll find this novel in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section of your local chain bookstore, it really deserves to be in the General Literature section. This is Literature with a capital ‘L.’ There’s a war brewing in Heaven, and it’s being fought everywhere and everywhen. Myths are layered one upon the next and expertly woven together. Past, present, and future exist simultaneously, as do multiple ‘versions’ of each character. By no means am I doing this novel any justice; the words just don’t exist. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up.

AJ & Ebert

I hauled the Major and Princess HotMuffin to the movies on Saturday. Unfortunately for all of us, I took us to see The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising. Now, this should have been a totally awesome, crap your pants, squeal with delight movie. It's based on one of my all time favorite novels, The Dark Is Rising, by Susan Cooper. I read this book when I was around 10 and it's stayed with me throughout the years.

I went into the movie with an open mind. The idea was to accept the movie for what it was and not compare it to the book. Normally, this would be a good strategy, but they should have really put a disclaimer on the movie: This movie is VERY loosely based on Susan Cooper's novel, and by loosely we mean almost not at all.

About the only things that remain from Susan Cooper's wonderful book are character and place names, the search for the signs, and the general Light vs. Dark theme. This movie is so different from the book, it could be qualified as an entirely different story. Kind of like fanfic written by 12 year old with a penchant for fire and explosions. With that in mind, I have to say that the movie is your typical, Hollywood-style pablum for the masses. There are plot holes big enough for the old Star Jones to fit through. There is little to no explanation of why Will Stanton needs to search for the Signs -- or indeed what each Sign is. Will's supposedly got a bevy of powers at his command, but the only thing he really does with them is set stuff on fire -- torches, cars, trees. For some reason Will travels through time, and ends up in a 17th century cockfight, a Viking invasion, and a church infested with snakes (apparently, St. Patrick hadn't been there yet.) The dialogue is craptacular, character development is non-existent and I just don't buy Francis Conroy as an rapier-wielding ass-kicker. (Just where did she pull that epee from anyway?)

But my main problem with this movie is that the book provided such excellent source material there should have been no reason for it to turn out like Britney's new hit. I honestly get updating the story and adapting scenes so they work well on the screen. But if you're going to throw almost the entire original story out, why even bother making the movie? Bottom line: if you haven't read the book you'll probably enjoy this as a rental. If you have read the book, skip it or you'll rage and start blowing up cars just like Will in this movie.

The All-Spark's A Dud

The Transformers movie was half a hot mess. I finally got around to seeing it this past weekend with a friend. We laughed at the 'Satan's Camaro is chasing me' line. There were a number of other really funny lines. Parts of the movie really worked well and were very entertaining.

But somewhere, somehow, the whole movie just fell apart. It wasn't until the credits were rolling that I realized that the movie was much less than met the eye. It wasn't quite blowbots in disguise, but it comes awfully close. I can't quite pin down what went wrong. I do know I didn't like any of the robot models, and the CGI was a whole hot mess. That's not to say the CGI was poorly done. It wasn't. It was poorly executed. When any of the transformers transform, you're left staring at the screen having no clue what you just witnessed. Is that a robot arm? Maybe it's a robot leg? Robot heart? Hole should have wrote a song for this. And I'm seriously annoyed that Bumblebee's head and torso look more like Johnny-5 than a supercool Camaro.

I had such high hopes for this movie. The Transformers were one of my favorite cartoons when I was a kid. I had many of the action figures. (I loved the ones that you combined to form a bigger, badder robot.) I left the theater somewhat disappointed, because it had the potential to be better than it was. I think it would have been easier leave outright hating the movie.

PS. Jon Voigt looks like a bag of moldy suet in the movie. Who left his face out in the rain and let it get all melty?

In The Life

Netflix delivered Another Gay Movie to our house yesterday. After watching Who Wants to Be A Superhero the Major slapped this little bit of raunch into the DVD player. It's a few parts American Pie meets a few parts Date Movie meets ... In other words, it's a gay take on all the popular movies and spoofs that are out there.

All I have to say is that if you ever meet Graham Norton dressed up as a Dom Top and he happens to be calling himself 'Rodzilla' -- you're going to want to tell him that you definately do not like Belgian Chocolate.

What's Old Is New Again

Back in the day I was a big fan of The X Files. I'd tune in religiously every Friday, or Sunday depending on the season. Then Season 8 rolled around and things just fell apart. I lost interest, and only watched the show when I remembered to do so, or when I knew a main story line episode was going to air.

The other day the Major was channel surfing and ended on an episode of the X Files. I got sucked in and realized, hey this is pretty good. The next time we were out at Best Buy I made a point to pick up Season 1 on DVD. I have not been disappointed and it made me remember why I liked this show so much.

I'm just about done with Season 1, so soon I will be buying more DVDs -- just in time for the surgery.

Review: Casino Royale

The Major and I went to the movies on Sunday, and we saw Casino Royale. Yeah, I know we're a little bit late to the party on this, but better late than never.

In general, I really enjoyed this movie. Daniel Craig has a real screen presence and is really enjoyable to watch. He really brought a physicality to the role that the other Bond's didn't bring in the past. I'm not entirely convinced he's believeable as Bond, but I think he will settle quite nicely into the role. Maybe I missed a few things about Bond in the past, but in this movie he came off as the bad boy of MI6, a rogue, foolishly headstrong and apt to make really stupid mistakes. Also, the movie had some really excellent cinematography.

But -- there's always a but -- there are some serious flaws with this movie. The first 20 minute chase scene is entirely too long, and almost pointless. It could have been pared down and still had the same effect. The plot seemed very thin in this movie, and at points I was wondering "why are the characters doing this and why is it relevant?" The last 20-30 minutes seemed like they were tacked on and really ruined the momentum and energy of the movie for me.

I found it hard to care for or relate to many of the characters. The only one I felt was truly developed and intriguing was the guy with scar on his eye. (And why do Bond films always have a bad guy with an obvious physical trait that lets you know they're the bad guy?) Finally in the realm of character-dom, what was up with the Bond Girls? They weren't particulary attractive: the love interest was at best bland, the bad guy's ho looked exactly like one, and the only one that seemed interesting bit the dust early on.

All in all, this is a good film. What would make it a great film is some tweaking and fine tuning of the plot, and pacing. This movie is like a really good recipe you know, but somehow you make an error in the porportions of the ingredients. They all taste really good separately, but when you put them together in the wrong way they don't quite fuse together like you'd hoped.