Redux > Redux > The Final Verdict

I had the honor of going to the PT people on Monday for a follow-up visit about my Cylon neck. I met with the PA and she was really on the ball. I could tell that she had really reviewed my case file. We talked about the specifics of my case; she poked and prodded me to see if she could cause me any pain [she could]; she had me move my neck around and around and around.

The good news is all the deep-tissue and bone issues appear to be resolved. This means that the pain I'm experiencing isn't because of a problem here. The PA did note that I'm still having a fair amount of problems with the muscles around my neck and left shoulder. She said that's perfectly normal at this phase of the recovery. To combat the muscle spams and tightness in my neck she sent me home with 90 Flexeril and 90 Vicodin. Narcotics: Let me show you them. I don't need to schedule another follow up, and unless I'm still in a lot of pain 2-3 months from now, I'm completely done. So, pop some pain killers with me and toast to my almost completed recovery!

Reduxing The Redux

I'm back on the meds: percocet, flexeril, celebrex (and because it's allergy season claritin). I've been having increasing amounts of pain that have leveled off around the 4 mark on the pain scale (1 to 10). Most days the meds make life tolerable, but there are days when everything seizes up and the pain rockets up towards a nice 7 and I'm so sore and stiff I can barely move.

All in all, things are getting better. But. It's been 3 months since I've had surgery. I've called my surgeon and he wants me to go back to PT to help with the pain. He thinks that some massage, etc., will help calm everything down and knock out the last of the pain that I'm having. The bad news is that my PT doctor's first available appointment is June 6. I'm on the waiting list to get in earlier, but I doubt that will happen.

In all seriousness, I think PT is exactly what I need. The great majority of the pain is coming from muscle soreness in my shoulders and neck. Hopefully, they'll be able to rehabilitate me and get everything back to normal. Until then, I'll still be posting smacked out on the good meds.

Redux: Exorcism

Hopefully, this will be the last time I have to post anything at length about the Great Neck Misadventure of 2006-7 (tm)(c).

From it's inauspicious beginning when I tried to jump over the housing mechanism for a trash compactor, did a face plant, and gashed my ankle five ways from Friday, this injury has been the worst medical situation I've had to deal with. What started off as random stiffening of the neck and shoulders devolved into 24/7/365 pain. Mind numbing pain. And the visits to all the doctors, and PT, and tests, and no one really knowing anything or telling me the whole deal until I finally ended up at the surgeon who fixed this whole big mess.

This is week 5 of the recovery, and things are going superbly. Week 4 flat out bit my ass in terms of heinousness. I had bronchitis [diagnosed, and treated with antibiotics], had to get an x-ray, returned to work for the first time since the surgery and had my last visit with the Surgeon. The Surgeon had very good news for me. I'm right on track for the 1 month mark, and there are no complications to the surgery. He expects a full recovery and finds it unlikely that I'll ever have this type of injury again (at least in my neck, I assume.) I'll be able to start running again on April 1, and then heavy lifting on May 1. The only caveats he gave me were a) don't over do it, you're not a strong as you think you are, and b) you can expect to experience pain and stiffness in your neck and shoulders for a few more months while everything settles down.

However, the best thing about this week is that I've been off all the heavy duty pain-meds for a week now. The most potent thing that's been in my system has been Aleve. While I thoroughly enjoyed my Percocet Party for the last 9 months, I discovered something this week. The last 9 months I've been somewhat blah about things I liked to do. Not much excited me, and I was worried that I was getting clinically depressed. But now, I'm really digging the things that really make me happy. I'm excited to do things again. And I'm very happy that I'm getting back to the person I was before this whole mess started.

Exorcism

The neck, as they say, has been exorcised. The surgery went well, took less than 45 minutes (or so I'm told), and I'm recovering nicely. Most of the original pain that has been plaguing me since this whole thing started is gone. There are days when it comes back, but it goes away after a bit of time. Most days I quietly medicate myself to deal with the new and improved pain that is associated with the surgery and rest/nap/sleep the day away. Truly, other than the 6" gash on the front of my neck I'm doing quite well.

The first week of recovery was quite relaxing. My mom was in town to make sure I did what I was supposed to be doing (i.e., nothing) and took care of me and the animals. There was a lot of time spent laying on the couch watching tacky daytime television. (And for all you out there, the morning talk show on Fox is heinous!) Mom left shortly after my first follow up with the nurse last Friday. All is well. I'm right where I should be at this stage in the recovery; the incision is not infected, the pain I'm having is consistent with what everyone else experiences and the amount of pain is also pretty much what everyone else who's had this done has reported at the one week mark.

I'm almost to the 2 week mark and most days I feel really good with very little pain -- if I stay on the couch and don't try to do anything more involved than reading a book, or watching TV. But if I try to straighten up the house, or go out to a lazy lunch, or get something new to read at Borders, then all hell breaks loose and I'm wiped out for the next 24-36 hours. Seriously, on Saturday I went to this totally awesome Sushi Bar with Neil, the Major and several other friends. We had to wait about 40 minutes for a table, so everyone went and tooled around the mall, while 2 of us stayed near with the pager looking at several of the kiosks. All I did was stand idly, and then eat dinner. I slept ALL day on Sunday with one brief trip out to Target, and then woke up at 11 on Monday.

I had planned on going back to work on Monday the 26th, but at this point that's just not going to happen. I can barely manage 2 hours of minimal activity, so right there we've got my commute to and from work. Other than this minor set-back, it appears that all is well. I have no intention of pushing myself too far, and I'm going to take as much time as I need to recover.

Speaking of, I think blogging has taken it's toll -- so it's off to happy nappy land on the new comfy sectional sofa. Ciao for nowzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Getting Ready

In preparation for the upcoming slice-a-malation, I'm stocking up on books and other things to do to keep me entertained. I'll also add these over to the side bar -- but I since I'm out of ideas to write about these days, I'll give you an update here ... and you all can also tell me anything you know about them ... or give me some recommendations. Here they are:

• The Witching Hour -- Ann Rice
• Imajica -- Clive Barker
• The Historian -- Elizabeth Kostova

Eventually, I'll get around to reading Skipping Toward Gamorrah or whatever the title of that book that Neil let me eons ago is. I've also got a game for the Game Boy Advance -- Final Fantasy V.

In the TV department, I'll be watching The X-Files Seasons 2-4. They were on sale at Best Buy the other week for $19.99 a piece. I guess I'll have to remember to rest in the upcoming weeks when I'm recuperating.

Red Pills, Blue Pills

I finally broke down and called one of my army of doctors Monday morning. One vicodin doesn't really provide any pain relief any more, and two just knocks me out. I wanted to see if there was a solution that would involve say 1.5 vicodins.

Happy Doctor Lady provided me with 90 percocets as a solution. They work. I have many percocets now. I am happy.

And no, I'm not going to sell them on the street for profit.

Ginsu

My sense of direction is a very falliable thing. And Tuesday morning was no exception. I headed out the door to go to the surgeon's office for the initial consultation, and I thought to myself it can't be that hard to locate something just off the beltway. Well, I still got a little lost, but finally I made it there.

The consultation with the surgeon was the first time in this whole affair that I felt like someone was taking time to really explain everything to me. I had a very good general idea before what was going on, but the surgeon actually took the time to point things out on the MRI and show me what 'normal' looks like and what I actually have.

The interesting thing about this whole appointment was that he used the same MRI that I had taken back in September, i.e.: the MRI that the nexorsists responisble for PT and the injection used to diagnose me. Super Surgeon showed me the herniation, and I thought to myself wow, that's really cool now that I can see what this thing that has been causing me all this pain looks like. However, the surgeon kept pointing things out and showed me that the herniated disk is also completely collapsed! And to round the show and tell portion of the consult out, he pointed to the bone spurs that have grown and are crushing my nerves (i.e.: the STENOSIS that is clearly indicated on the write up the MRI, and that the original nexorcists didn't feel necessary to point out.)

Obviously, it seems that because of this there is no way that PT or the injections could have done anything but provide temporary relief of my symptoms. What a way to waste 4 months of my time and money.

The last thing the surgeon and I spoke about was the actual surgical procedure. He's going to remove the herniation and disk, clear out the bone spurs. Then he's going to take a bone graft from my hip and place it in the newly empty spot in my spine. This should then fuse to the vertebrae above and below. Within 2 weeks I should be back to my normal self. All I have to do now is make it to February 8th.

Oh, and one last thing: the surgeon's office manager is a total crotch.

Necxorsism Update

I haven’t posted about my trip to the necxorsist, because I wanted to enjoy my holidays and not think about what he told me. Now that the holidays are over and I’m back to the daily grind, I figure it’s a good time to blog about my busted neck.

My latest trip to the Orthopedic Surgeon yielded some interesting results. The doctor I spoke with is the lead doctor on my case. We spoke for a while about my general health and pain levels. The net-result is that I have to have surgery. I’ve tried all the non-invasive procedures and they work at the short-term level, but my pain levels will return to the baseline level within days. This fact is why the doctor is recommending surgery.

In most cases, the disk herniation will resolve by itself, and your body will absorb it right back into itself. However, in a statistically relevant number of cases, the herniation needs to be removed physically because it never gets absorbed. I’m in the latter category.

I have a follow-up with another of my doctors tomorrow, and I want to get a second opinion from him. I may even speak with my family doctor before I make any final decisions. I have however, been referred to 2 surgeons that can do the operation.
It appears my adventures with the necxorsism are going to continue for a while longer.

A Tale of Tasers and Needles

Vicodin makes it really hard to concentrate, spell properly, and order your thoughts in a logical fashion. Yes, I'm still on vicodin. Today's a bad day for me -- as have most days this week. I had injection therapy a week ago, and it really didn't do all that much for me this time around. (Obviously, if I'm taking vicodin.)

I figured I'd post an update on the new busted hotness that is my neck. This has been a week of developments -- it's been like sweeps week in the melodrama that is my spinal cord. I had an EMG on Tuesday which was in parts midly annoying and in parts incredibly painful. I'm not really down with having electrified needles stuck in the sore spots on my neck.

The results were a little bit of Column A and some of Column B. The good news is that I don't have acute nerve damage -- which means I don't need immediate decompression surgery (i.e., removing the bulging part of the disk). The bad news is that there are clear signs of chronic radiculopathy. In English that means chronic nerve damage. And in understandable English it translates to: you have nerve damage that was caused at some point in the past which has become a chronic condition that we're going to have to figure out a way to manage while your body repairs itself.

Round One is over and the neck has won this match. Round Two starts on Dec. 22 when I have a follow-up consult with the RingLeaderOrthopedicSurgeon. A new plan of attack will be devised, and hopefully will yield better results. Until then, I'll be on my happy pills, so drop in -- I'm 57.4% less crotchy when narcotics are involved.

Necksorcism Update

My doctors are in agreement: Tests are needed to determine if I do or do not have nerve damage. They also agree that I've gotten all the benefits I'm going to get from PT at this point. They're conferencing this week to determine if surgery is the next step. And they put me back on vicodin for the pain.

I'm completely back to square one at this point. I have no idea what the course of treatment is going to be. The pain level is about the same as it initially was, but the numbness/tingling is significantly greater than when this first set in. I'm worried, nervous, scared, and of course the Major is out of town until next Friday. I don't fault him for this -- just the story of my life that bad things happen when I'm alone. I've gotten really good at being self-reliant because of this.

For some reason, this situation made me think of one of the many bouts of kidney stones I had in undergrad and graduate school. Two of my fellow RAs were the best friends you could ever hope for and took me to the hospital twice. When I came home, they asked if I needed anything, and offered to go to the grocery store for me. I gave them some money and said get basic sick stuff -- like cranberry juice, and ginger ale. Maybe some non-offense snacks like crackers.

About an hour later, these 2 bitches (I mean that in the most loving way possible) came back giggling their asses off with a bunch of grocery bags. It seemed that they deemed an entire rotisserie chicken was good idea -- along with some other food that they wanted to eat. Granted, it wasn't really what I had in mind, and kind of a waste of money -- but it did make me laugh. And it made me realize that they were really good friends. Now whereever you 2 are, get your punk-asses up here and keep me company! Daddy needs a rotisserie chicken!

Redux -- II

Many tests were had at the doctor's office. Chest x-rays, spirographs, and some weird inhale the pretty smoke thing. The doctor was really disappointed I didn't have asthmal pnemonia. Seriously, he was very bummed out that I just have bronchitis. He even went as far to say that maybe the tests weren't just good efforts on my part. Hello?! How hard is it to blow into a tube? How can you fail that test?

I've been put on some pretty massive antibiotics, but none of the cool cough medicine, because I'm violently allergic to codeine. My boss has quarentined me to my house. He doesn't want me coming in at all if there's even the remotest chance I'll pass this along. You know, because he's like going on vacation 'n stuff. I wonder if he's going to pay for all this time off he's forcing me to take. It's not like I made the decision to stay home, I was told to stay home.

I'm going to go take some theraflu, an antibiotic, grab the puppy and kitty and curl up in the bed. There shall be much sleep and Voltron watching in my future today.

Sickness Redux

I had my very first needle to the neck yesterday, and all in all, it wasn't that bad of an experience. It didn't hurt, per se, it was more of an uncomfortable thing, or a weird sensation type of thing. In terms of general health, I felt pretty off after the experience -- light headed, dizzy, nauseated, stiff and sore. In terms of my neck pain, it's been dramatically reduced. So, we'll call this one even.

I'm still fighting whatever this cold is off. I drug myself into work this morning, and upon speaking with me my boss said "I'd rather you be at home than here, because I don't want anyone else to get sick." So, I got sent home to bask in the relative comfort of my own cozy home.

I do have an appointment with the doctor at 2:30 today. I figured since it's been a week and I'm still coughing hard enough that I sometimes vomit, I should get a professional involved in the situation. More news to follow. Wish me luck, I'm hoping this is just a really bad cold and nothing else.

Pain in My Culo

I've been fighting off a nasty cold since Weds. and I have to report that it's winning. The constant coughing and snotting and draining has me totally over myself. On the plus side, the Tylenol Day and Night Severe Cold stuff is doing a good job of making me feel more or less human. On the negative, I haven't been able to take any of my muscle relaxants or pain killers because they'll interact with each other and cause the world to explode. So, I'm in a lot of pain.

Of course, as of Friday, I wouldn't have been allowed to take any of my neck meds. Part of the injection 'therapy' is that one is not allowed to take any NSIADs for 72 hours prior to the procedure. And, of course, one (if not both) of my meds fall under that category.

I'm hoping this needle to the neck thing will help with the pain, but I have to confess that I'm getting a little weirded out by it. I've been having thoughts and dreams of what could go wrong. Like, say, getting paralysed, or having permanent nerve damage. I'm sure that these are common worries, and I shouldn't be worried about it at all, but I can't help it.

I can already tell I'm going to be a real nutcase come Monday morning when it's supposed to happen. Hopefully, all will go well. At the very least I don't have to go to work. Power of positive thinking, power of positive thinking.

It's Hard to Find Good Help

I called the PT office this morning to cancel my appointment tomorrow, because the love of my life has infected me with his heinous cold/coughing illness/whatever brand of icky that he has/had.

The salient points in that last sentence: cancel appointment, tomorrow.

I just got a call from the woman that I spoke with. It appears that she canceled the appointment I had on Oct. 5, and wasn't sure why she did that. So, she wanted to verify which appointment I wanted canceled.

It was all I could do not to say "Me. no. come. tomorrow. Me. sick. You. Get?"

*sigh* When you're coughing so hard your ass muscles are pulled, you don't need to deal with that. (Sorry, K. Jen -- I know I said I'd try to keep comments about the Greater Rear-opolitan Metro Area to a minimum, but I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about this.)

I'm off to medicate myself. You all play nicely.

Name-a-wench

I need everyone's help in coming up with names for my 2 PT instructors.

The nice-one (who gives me massages ... but also puts me in Traction).

And the mean-one (who gives me exercises that hurt).

Any suggestions?

Bait 'N' Switch (PT, Part 3)

I'm not a morning person. Not even a little bit. So, it was with great unenthusiasm that I hauled myself out of bed at 6:00 this morning to make it to my PT appointment at 7:30. The dog was whining to be let out, and after I kick-started my morning with a nice jolt of nicotine, we were ready to walk the pup.

While I was getting ready, I realized I was really looking forward to the 30 minute massage part of my PT routine. The Evil-One (aka, the necksorcist, or as Neil calls her Mistress Domina) can give me all the nasty exercises she wants -- but I'm still getting a nice massage. I made peace with being up that early in the morning.

I get to the PT office and 10 minutes into the massage The Good-One (aka, the massager) pulls off her mask and reveals that she's really the Devil. There will be no 30 minute massage today. Instead, I'm going to put you on the traction machine for 15 minutes. Yes, the traction machine -- a vertiable modern day "rack." She strapped my head down, tightened the neck brace, activated the evil-machine-of-doom, and then walked out of the room while giving me the following warning:

Push this button if it gets to be too much. If you need anything, ring this bell. You'll be done in 15 minutes.

How am I supposed to "ring the bell" when I'm strapped into this machine?!? And I've seen one too many bad sci-fi movies to be comfortable with machines like this. These are the machines that black, hispanic, gay and the "ugly,""fat," best-girl friend characters get decapitated in/on.

But you know what: I kinda liked it. My neck felt awesome when it was all over. And I almost fell asleep a few times.

Feeling Better

I stayed home from work yesterday. I slept like a banshee. I'm talking I went to bed at 11:00 the night before, and got up at 7:00 to call into work (after 3 trips to the greater toilet district). Then I went back to bed after chatting with Neil for about 30 minutes. I slept on and off until 6:20 pm. I probably would have slept longer, but the dog was shaking uncontrolably in bed. So, I figured she needed to go out for a walk. She peed twice -- I'm talking Tom Hanks in a League of Their Own type of release here. Then she promptly had doggie-diarrhea in the slightly forested area near the tennis court. I've heard of dogs looking like their owners, but this is ridiculous. She's doing better now too.

Major Texas and I ordered a pizza and watched Doctor Who on Sci-Fi. Those crazy brits. Story line: good. Special effects: Cheddar. M.T. then checked some e-mail or whatever it is he does on the computer, and I fired up the new game I got for my PS2. All in all it was a very relaxing day/evening yesterday. It's rare that the both of us just get to kick back and relax and do the things we like to do for fun. A veritable Rockwell painting -- cat sleeping on the back of the couch, dog sleeping underneath him on the couch. M.T. and I relaxing.

Now we're getting ready to head down to Woodrbridge and maybe go to Ikea. I definately need to go to the Polo store and get a new sweatshirt. I realized that my favorite sweatshirt has definately seen better days, and needs to be replaced. The cuffs are fraying and it's got a lot of holes in the seems. I figure it's got about a year of laying-around-the-house use left in it, but that leaves me without a nice one to wear out in public. So, AJ's tip for the day: get yourself to the Polo Factory Store (or any place that sells Polo) and get yourself a nice sweatshirt. They're about $30.00 if you catch a good sale, and they're the most comfortable thing you'll ever own.

I'm off to spend some money. May everyone have a good, shiny happy people type of day.

PT, Part 2

The PT gods giveth and they taketh away.

The most excellent:
-- Each time I go, now I will get a head/neck/shoulders massage ... for 30 minutes.

The most heinous:
--They've added a new set of exercises to my list. And they're all painful. I'll stick a rolled towel under your shoulder blades and make you wave your arms around like a cheerleader on speed and see how much you like little miss perky gym leader.

In summary, I felt really good at the end of my first 30 minutes of PT (even got rid of my headache), but the second 30 minutes were torture. Screw the necksercises for today, I'm taking a nap.

[UPDATE:] I actually have 2 separate PT people treating me. Think along the lines of good cop, bad cop. The good one gives me neck massages, the bad one makes me use the arm bike and do painful stretches. But I know they're working as a team, so I know the evil is widespread and invasive.

I've Been a Bad AJ

So I haven't been doing my necksercizes. Not even a little bit.

I know I should be, but somehow I just don't find the time in the day to tilt my head to the side and hold for 5 seconds. Plus all the other random combinations of tilt and hold that I'm supposed to be doing. I better do them today, because I've got PT tomorrow.

At least I have started sleeping on my side. So I can say to the PT people that I have done something that they've told me to do. The down side to this is the dog now has room on the bed to curl up next to me while I'm sleeping. And she's a bed hog.

Let the Healing Commence

I had my very first Physical Therapy session this morning. The first of at least 8 to be exact. All in all, it wasn't a bad experience. I have my own "case-worker" -- for lack of a better word, that will evaluate me each and every time I go to the clinic. There's also a PT instructor assigned to me, who's given me very specific excerises to do while I'm there, and also 2 times a day when I don't have PT.

I'll admit I was a little leary of the whole PT thing at first. It seems/ed a little too granola/she-she-la-la for my tastes. I guess at heart I'm a cut-em-open and slice out the offending problem type of guy. But I am willing to at least see if this PT stuff will work.

And Sarah will love the fact that part of my training routine involves the arm-bike ... otherwise known as the Arm-a-lator 4000. We used to watch the people across the alley in our old office on the Armatron and make fun of them. I deeply regret that -- the arm machine is no joke. That thing hurts! After 5 minutes my arms were on fire.

I'll keep a running update of my PT-saga. And to date, I don't think they like anything about me. I was told I need to improve my posture, my work space, and how I sleep. I can't even sleep correctly. And here I thought all one had to do was lay down. Apparently, laying on your stomach is verboten.

Here's to a new and improved me.