Thievery!!!

While surfing the nets, this little nugget of goodness revealed itself to me. In the spirit of my love for bad sci-fi and fantasy television programs, I thought I'd have a little fun with this 'news' item and make it the basis for an episode of various programs. Consider this my contribution to your ongoing education and the "The More You Know" program.

Supernatural

Dean: Dude, so we've totally gotta chase these Penis Sorcerors down and nail them.
Sam: Do you think we should use a demon trap?
Dean: Yeah, that's a great idea. I'll stand in it and be the bait. When the demon sorceror comes you waste it with the salt shot gun.
Sam: Why don't I stand in the trap and you shoot it?
Dean: Well, because, I'm the more obvious candidate.
Sam: Dude, my penis is so larger than yours.
Dean: Uhn-uh.
Sam: Is too.
Deam: Isn't.
Penis Demon: *poof* Et voila, now yew both 'ave no penises!
Dean: This is all your fault.
Sam: No, it's yours. If you hadn't been so emo over Dad's death for the last season, ...

Charmed

Phoebe: I like totally had a vision that some Sorceror is running around shrinking men's penises.
Piper: We should go check the Family Cookbook to see how to banish this thing.
Paige (aka: pantywaste): (orbs in from stage right). OMGWTFBBQ! My boyfriend's penis is missing. I was totally doing him and BAM! it just disappeared. You gotta help me ... I mean him.
Piper: We were just going to check WikiWitchcraft for a spell. Come up to the attic with us.

Phoebe: You better search faster Piper. It looks like your Leo just lost his wang too.
Piper: Here's something, let's try this.

Halliwells together: By the power of three, leave the penis be.
Pantywaste: By the power of my slutty red hair, return the penis to me!

Piper & Phoebe: That should should have done the trick.
Pantywaste: Eh, whatever. I think I'm going to dump my boyfriend anyway. Did you see the hot delivery boy?

The X-Files

Mulder: (voice over, typing report) I remain convinced that these disappearing penises are the work of a goverment conspiracy meant to cover up the presence of aliens on earth. I myself was a victim.

Scully: (voice over, typing report) After having conducted a through examination of Agent Mulder and the other 'vicitims', I have found no evidence of any alteration, be it chemical, physical, or genetic. It is my opinion that they have been suffering from some form of mass delusion.

Note: Credit for the penis snatching find goes to an intrepid co-worker of the Scorpios. Blame Scott accordingly.

From the Vaults

Here's an oldie, but goodie, from back when Mad TV was teh awesome:

Oooooh, Barracuda

Do you like to rock? Do you like guitars? What about hair bands, indie punk rockers, and KISS? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then maybe you should come over to my Bitchin' Condo and play some Guitar Hero.

On a whim, the Mayordomo and I bought Guitar Hero III and 2 guitar controllers. It's been non-stop rockin' at our place since Monday. Mayordomo particularly likes "Barracuda" and "I Wanna Rock 'n' Roll" -- or whatever that Poison song is called. I'm more partial to the alternative songs: Social Distorion, Sonic Youth, and the like. Of course, Mayordomo hates this when we play together because it gives me an advantage. He never got into college rock, indie bands, or alternative music so he has never heard these songs before. Whereas, while I've never been a huge fan of heavy metal, you don't grow up in the 80's not knowing these songs.

And for some bizarre reason I've got "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas stuck in my head. It's been there all week. The last time I actually remember hearing that song was over the summer when I was watching Supernatural. (You can laugh all you want, and I'll agree: The show is nothing but eye-candy.)

I've gotta go practice my power stance now. If you need me, I'll be in the 'concert hall' (OK, fine game room/guest bedroom) rockin. Just knock before you come in -- I might have some groupies in there with me.

Offroading

Sorry I've been a little incognito of late. I had a touch of the flu earlier in the month. Then my neck really flared up and I had to get all my meds refilled. (And I was doing so well, and not taking any painkillers at all. le sigh). And to round out the triple play, I came down with a severe chest cold that was probably bronchitis.

Also, I've been working on some RL projects that have been absorbing a lot of my time. Way back when I was just a tiny AJ, my grandfather taught me the joys of cross-stitch. Everytime I'd go over to their house he was working on some piece, and it intrigued me. He won many awards at fairs for his works. I've kept with it over the years because it reminds me of him, and it's also one of the few 'arty' things I can do. I didn't get the drawing/painting gene that my grandmother seems to have. And I only got a moderate dose of the musical gene. That being said, I've been working on some Christmas presents -- hopefully, I'll finish them before December 25.

Finally, I've rediscovered the joys of Tad Williams' series Otherland. I'd forgotten how much I loved these books when they came out. So, I've been reading them. Oh, and I finally rounded up Bones Season 2 on DVD ... so I've been watching that.

Oh Happy Day

I was trolling the internets this morning and I came across this.

New Dead Like Me makes me a very happy sailor. I shall be not so patiently waiting for this to become purchaseable.

Watch: October

And rounding out the trifecta are things I'm watching on TV and DVD. For some reason I've been watching a lot of anime and cartoons lately, but they're good programs.

• Howl's Moving Castle
• Voltron: Blue Lion Collection
• Avatar: The Last Airbender (Season 1)
• Battlestar Galactica (Season 3 -- TV)
• House (Season 3 -- TV)
• Doctor Who (Season 2 -- TV)
• Dead Like Me (TV)

I've got Charmed, Stargate SG-1, and Eden's Bowy on backlog, but I'll eventually get around to those. And the Major made me watch Lisa Lampanelli's stand up routine tonight. Oh. Sweet. Crassness. She has got one foul mouth on her -- for most of the show, my mouth was on the floor in shock that she said most of the things she said.

Sah-Nah-Sah, Sah-Nah-SAH!

Ladies and Gentlemen!:

Your TV is no longer your best friend. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have mended their rift and are about to get busy and film the 5th installment of The Simple Life. Something about them being camp counselors. (I wonder if they're working at a summer camp for future Porn Stars?)

Your TV will punish you if you tune it to E! in the upcoming months when this trash lands on prime time.

Money Can Buy Happiness

What's really cool, and comes in an awesome blue tin?
...
...
...
Give up?

Why, it's the first 15 episodes of Voltron, of course! It's the Blue Lion collection. And the next collection will be out in November. This was my all time, bestest ever, most favorite cartoon when I was kid. And now I own it on DVD. I may just have to hide under the blankets and watch TV all night tonight.

Form feet and legs. Form arms and torso. And I'll form the head! Let's go Voltron Force!

Nerd Phantasia

Ecce Geekonem: Rejoice!

Voltron is coming to DVD this September.
Dungeons and Dragons (the cartoon) is coming to DVD this September.
Battlestar Galactica Season 2.5 is coming to DVD this September.

Steven Erickson's new book House of Chains is out in bookstores now.

Square-Enix's sequel to Valkerie Profile is coming to the PS2 in late September.
Final Fantasy XII for the PS2 is coming out in November.
The new Zelda for GameCube, et. al is out sometime this fall.

The new season of Battlestar Galactica airs new episodes on October 6.

Also, pick up a copy of Valkerie Profile: Lenneth for the PSP it's really entertaining.

All this should be enough to keep me YOU entertained for months to come.

Consolation Prize

So, I was browsing the internets this morning, catching up on my news and seeing if anything else has blown up, or been sucked up by the next massive super-hurricane, and I came across this.

Most of my friends know that I'm a SG-1 junkie, although my addiction isn't quite as powerful as a crack-addict's need for a fix. Let's just say I own several seasons on DVD, and I'm slowly working my way through Season 4 right now and I bought Season 5 as a birthday gift to myself a few weeks ago. Also, MajorTexas and I have a Friday night ritual where we watch the new run episodes of SG-1, SG-A and Battlestar Galactica. (Although, with Sci-Fi's odd decision to start airing Season 3 of BG in October, and the StarGates in July -- there has been no Battlestar in the line up yet this season.) I digress.

Quite honestly, I'm a bit sad to see the original series go. It's one of the few decently written/acted/directed/produced shows on TV these days. And the idea behind it has intrigued me since I saw the original movie back in 1994. However, I'm not stark raving mad like some of the fanboys on the sci-fi message boards complaining that Sci-Fi has "totally screwed them over." (If you want some good quality conspiracy theories on the demise of Stargate SG-1, head on over to Sci-Fi and check out the bboard.) Ten seasons are a long time for any series to be on the air, and it's a vertible eternity for a science fiction series to be on the air. At this point, I still enjoy watching the show -- so better that it leave while it's still good than say hang around for 2 years after it's died like something bad out of The Reanimator. X-Files I'm looking at you!!!

Now if you want real outrage about a series being sent to its demise, just look at what happened to Dead Like Me. That show got reaped way before its time was up all because some idiot at ShoTime decided he wanted to do only shows that he brought to the station, so he cleaned the decks of all the programming that his precedecessor had put in place. The silver lining here is that, while Sci-Fi is debateably shooting itself in the foot by not renewing it's flagship series, it has however picked up Dead Like Me and is airing the episodes every Tuesday from 7-9. Maybe, just maybe, they'll pick the series up and start making new episodes.