I'll Take '1000' Alex

Alex: Remember each correct answer (in the form of a question) will contain the numerical value "One Thousand" Good luck, players!

AJ: I'd like 1000 for 400, Alex.

Alex: Blood work, X-rays, Medicine and other treatments.

AJ: What is 'How much does it cost when you take your dog to the vet because she's been vomiting, peeing and diarrhea'ing all over your house for the last 12 hours?"

That's right. Yesterday morning Roxy blessed us all. She has spread her love all over the house and all over the various types of flooring. She's not particular. The carpet, ceramic tiles and hardwood have all been hit by her explosive rear end.

Our very on-point vet thinks that she's got a parasite of some stripe, so he's prescribed deworming medication and a broadband anti-parasite medicine for her. She doesn't like her medication, so I've had to resort to chasing her through the house with a pill coated in peanut butter on my finger, pinning her down, and smearing it on the roof of her mouth so she'll swallow it.

Honestly, I wasn't counting on having to pay 1000 dollars for this visit to the vet. But, I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'd never forgive myself if she ended up dead because I thought "oh, it's just a case of diarrhea, she'll get over it." I've seen her regular diarrhea and it's nothing like what was spread all over the house these past 24 hours. I'm happy to report she's on the mend and her energy levels and rambunctiousness have returned to almost normal.

Let There Be Homo

This is an eye opening site. Click on the billboards on the right-hand side for a discussion about each.

Some of the arguments are less compelling than others and seem more like rhetoro-semantical mental masturbation, but they do raise interesting and valid points. As someone who speaks multiple languages, I appreciate the difficulties in translating from one language to another while still retaining all of the original meaning. Many times there aren't equivalent words, so you have to choose one that comes as close to the mark as possible. Something inevitably gets lost.

That's the one of the points that the authors of the site are trying to make. Modern society doesn't really have the concept of "sluts for Jesus" or "Hindi hookers" or what-have-you. There are no major world religions that use sex as a ritual part of their worship. But this cultural concept certainly existed in the old world. It seems to me that equating homosexuality with the types of sexual practices associated with the specific word(s) used in the Bible is disingenuous. The original words refered to some very specific types of ritualized sex. Additionally, it's not intellectually or practically honest to translate the original terms as 'homosexual' when that word and its modern meaning were coined no earlier than 1898 in Germany. It's like saying that all gay people are into fisting and that's the only type of sex they have. It doesn't make sense; it's not logical.

Another thing I find very interesting is that nowhere in the Bible is lesbianism condemned -- I don't think it's even mentioned. All the passages seem to be geared at man-on-man action. This speaks volumes about the cultural constructs of 'manliness' and 'womanliness.'

At any rate, all the passages dealing with homosexuality should be dealt with very carefully for 2 reasons. 1) Problems with translation pertaining to cultural concepts and practices that existed 2000 years ago but are no longer. 2) Jesus placed one rule above all the others -- 'love thy neighbor'. He was very adamant to remind everyone not to throw stones or judge others.

Oh Happy Day

I was trolling the internets this morning and I came across this.

New Dead Like Me makes me a very happy sailor. I shall be not so patiently waiting for this to become purchaseable.

Why I Love Latin American Literature

There is something about Latin American literature that you don't seem to find anywhere else. I'm currently reading Hopscotch by Julio Cortazar -- he just happens to be my all time favorite author. This book has it all: death, life, intellectualism, anti-intellectualism, the riduculous, the serious, and so on and so forth.

I was reading a chapter this morning on my way to work, and it reminded me why I like him. The scene was absolutely ridiculous. We're talking mind-shattering levels of retardedness. The main character (for some reason known only to him) decided he needed to straighten a can full of nails. In the middle of all this he decides he wants some tea, but he doesn't have any in the house. So he yells out to his friend that lives on the same floor in the apartment building across the alley. Instead of simply bringing the tea over, these 2 idiots decide to build a bridge between their windows from some ratty-ass boards they have laying in their apartments.

Throughout this whole process they're having this crazy intellectual discussion, and they con the neighbor's wife into crossing the bridge to deliver the tea (and more nails). She gets about halfway across and gets really scared; she thinks the bridge is going to break and she'll fall to her death. Her husband decides she needs a straw hat to keep the sun off her head. The other moron makes her play this stupid game involving questions that purposely make no sense. Eventually, she makes it back to her apartment, the guy gets his tea (even though the bag exploded when it hit the dresser he toppled over on his bed to support the rope he'd tied to the springs to keep the 'bridge' from falling) and everyone is more or less happy.

The scene ends with the people downstairs commenting on the whole thing. Turns out the woman on the board wasn't wearing anything under her bathrobe. And one kid remarks that he'd never seen so much hair on a woman. R-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s! It was so fantastically absurd, idiotic, and unbelieveable. And yet at the same time, it seemed like there was an allegory for the state of affairs in Latin America. So, I'm going to rename this book to Jackass - The Novel.

Angst

My patience for all things stupid is at about 0.17% these days. I'm seriously ready to bring the beat-down to most people who cross my path these days. I'm wondering if there's some mass conspiracy going on out there, because there is just way too much asshattery. People on the metro, people at work, people driving [granted, that's a given in DC], and even on the airwaves.

This whole Imus thing is completely out of control. He's a shock-jock. He says cataclysmically retarded things for a living!! Granted, he had no business calling people nappy-headed hos. But still, this type of speech is his whole thing. Personally, I have no use for shock-jocks. They're vuglar and bring the whole culture down into the muck. But some people like them. So, I don't think the whole country should get up in arms about what some idiot who gets paid to say stupid things says on the air.

His comments were most definately racist and sexist. But don't we have much bigger fish to fry? Last I checked G-Dub is still in office and all sorts of crazy is still coming out of the White House on a daily basis. Iraq is still a cesspit (now with more bomby goodness). And the Dept. of Justice has been seriously hijacked by right-wing ideologues. Racism in the U.S. is definately a problem -- but this type of media-hype isn't the way to address the issue.

I Am Scruffy McGee, Internet Super Sleuth

You want? I find. You need? I find. You lost? I find. You speak in complete sentences and sound like a normal person? I hate.

I've been thinking about some of my college cohorts lately, and realizing how much I miss them. It's mostly my fault because I'm really awful about keeping in touch with people; I really need constant adult supervision 24/7.

So, Gumshoe LaQuita put on her sleuthing hat last night and went to work. I managed to round up the e-mail address of one of my classmates -- She goes by the name of Burrita Starr, nee Tim. I e-mailed Tim and he got in touch with me this morning. We caught up and had a great chat. He's also going to forward me another classmate's e-mail. She goes by the name of Betsy, nee Betsy. I'll have to pump him for more e-mail and maybe some methamphetamine later. I keed. (Seriously, where's my crack, ho? I need a fix. sssssh.)

I did have some help from Neil trying to locate another friend, but that didn't turn out as expected. Neil is waiting for the results and here they are. A strange woman answered the phone ... not like when you call 1-800-HOT-HOTT, but one of those strange women that might be wearing leopard print thongs under their acid washed jeans. That kind of strange.

100

According to my navipanel (or whatever it is that Blogger calls it), this is my 100th post.

[Cue music playing, balloons dropping, confetti and streamers flying everywhere and go-go boys shakin' their Ricky Martin bon-bons all up in this bitch. Open up Cell Block 8.]

I think I've said all I need to. Any L'il Kim reference pretty much ends a post.

Cursed

I've been having some problems with my knees lately. The kind of problems that involve joint pain that keeps me up all night. I've been referred to a specialist, but I haven't wanted to go because I'm sick of being in doctors' offices.

Before I go see the specialist, I've decided to try some home remedies. The other day I went to the CVS and picked up knee braces, a pain killer specifically for knee-joint pain, and a tube of Capzasin. I've had moderate success with the braces and the pain killer. I've been flat out cursed with the Capzasin.

I tried the stuff out the other night around 2 a.m. I applied the recommended dose to each knee and massaged it in. I noticed a warm tingly burn and thought 'hey, this stuff is working.' I fell asleep and woke up around 7:20 ready to start the day and get to work. I noticed that I could still feel the burning sensation and it was a lot stronger. I didn't think too much of it, and took my shower. And that's when all hell broke loose.

The minute the water hit my knees they lit up -- we're talking blazing desert sun agony here. I called my doctor and explained the situation. Turns out I'm highly sensitive to the active ingredient (0.01% is apparently too much for me). I had some nice chemical burns on both my knees. Fortunately, the problem was readily fixed by spending a good chunk of my morning hopping in and out of the shower and flushing the area. My knees are a little sore, but no worse for the wear.

In Which Our Hero Goes On A Tear

Neil blogged about his anger last week. I've refrained from commenting, because I'm trying this new power-of-positive-thinking, happy outlook on life thing. It's one of those deals where I focus on the good I see around me rather than all the hot messes running amok. However, it's hard to keep this mentality alive and well when I run across things like this.

If I don't think about the status of gay rights (i.e.: civil rights) in America these days, life seems pretty rosy. But all it takes is one whiff of morons like Ms. Marcia, and I remember that there are people out there willing to hate, condemn, marginalize, attack and even kill gays. And in this case, it's someone making her living from U.S. tax-payer dollars. How, exactly, is she defending the U.S., its citizens and its Constitution?

What's notable about this particular item (besides that crazy racist Tango-Wango and the homophobia) is that she initiated the conversation; she thought this man would be a good candidate for the U.S. Army based on his resume. Her dreams of meeting her recruitment quota thwarted, she stooped to base bigotory and unprofessionalism. (Seriously, who in this day and age thinks it's acceptable to send out something like that from your work e-mail?!?)

But what really gets me angry is that if any other class of professional were to send something like that to a prospective job applicant, customer or business contact, they would be fired on the spot. No questions asked. The more liberal workplaces for the entirety of her comments -- the more conservative workplaces for the racism and unprofessionalism. I'm thinking that she might just get away with a slap on the wrist at best ... and at worst a reassignment, maybe a pay cut and a demotion.

This is why I'm so angry with Red-State America, Conservatives and those gay allies that love their gay friends, but not the gay rights portion of their gay friends. We work, we pay taxes, we own homes. We're friends, brothers, sisters. We go to the same schools, see the same movies, read the same books. We're Americans. Just like everyone else in this country. The only difference is in who we love. But that difference makes us unequal. Not deserving of having our relationships honored. Not able to see our spouses in the hospital. Not able to retain any hope of living in the home we have built together if one partner dies. Not able to walk down the street at night without the fear that someone might decide to beat and/or kill us just because of who we are.

I could go on with the list of inequalities. But in the interest of brevity (such as it is at this point), I'll refrain. I can at least give a little respect to the virulent homophobes --they're consistent in their beliefs. I find it much harder to respect people who say they love their gay friend/family member/co worker, but with the next breath aver that they don't support gay rights. Neither group of people really 'get it' -- but at least one is a lot more honest about it.

Redux: Exorcism

Hopefully, this will be the last time I have to post anything at length about the Great Neck Misadventure of 2006-7 (tm)(c).

From it's inauspicious beginning when I tried to jump over the housing mechanism for a trash compactor, did a face plant, and gashed my ankle five ways from Friday, this injury has been the worst medical situation I've had to deal with. What started off as random stiffening of the neck and shoulders devolved into 24/7/365 pain. Mind numbing pain. And the visits to all the doctors, and PT, and tests, and no one really knowing anything or telling me the whole deal until I finally ended up at the surgeon who fixed this whole big mess.

This is week 5 of the recovery, and things are going superbly. Week 4 flat out bit my ass in terms of heinousness. I had bronchitis [diagnosed, and treated with antibiotics], had to get an x-ray, returned to work for the first time since the surgery and had my last visit with the Surgeon. The Surgeon had very good news for me. I'm right on track for the 1 month mark, and there are no complications to the surgery. He expects a full recovery and finds it unlikely that I'll ever have this type of injury again (at least in my neck, I assume.) I'll be able to start running again on April 1, and then heavy lifting on May 1. The only caveats he gave me were a) don't over do it, you're not a strong as you think you are, and b) you can expect to experience pain and stiffness in your neck and shoulders for a few more months while everything settles down.

However, the best thing about this week is that I've been off all the heavy duty pain-meds for a week now. The most potent thing that's been in my system has been Aleve. While I thoroughly enjoyed my Percocet Party for the last 9 months, I discovered something this week. The last 9 months I've been somewhat blah about things I liked to do. Not much excited me, and I was worried that I was getting clinically depressed. But now, I'm really digging the things that really make me happy. I'm excited to do things again. And I'm very happy that I'm getting back to the person I was before this whole mess started.