February 25, 2008

Dogs Rule

I’ve discovered another reason why Roxy is the best dog ever. I was eating dinner and watching Firehouse Dog on HBO, basically just vegging out. Roxy was curled up next to me on the floor, most likely hoping for a scrap of potpie. The onscreen firehouse dog was running back and forth, yipping, barking, whining and having a grand old time. That’s when I noticed that Roxy was actually watching TV with me. Her doggie head was moving back and forth tracking the firehouse dog. Her ears pricked up at every onscreen doggie noise. How cool is that?

February 12, 2008

Alphabits

It’s rare that I directly comment on here about books that I’ve read. Yet, I’ve recently finished a handful of books that I’d seriously recommend to other people. In no particular order:

La Historia del rey transparente: This was a very interesting read. The author, Rosa Montero, takes significant liberty with historical facts; historical figures that lived almost 100 years apart are present with the 40-or-so-year lifespan of the protagonist. Interestingly, this adds to the fantasy-like feel of the novel. Of particular interest is the character of Nyneve – who may, or may not be, Morgan La Fey. Fantastical elements occur side-by-side with realistic elements, which creates a very unique and compelling alternate-history of Medieval France (circa the Cathars). Also of note is the story-within-a-story of The Transparent King. It is responsible for some odd happenings in the novel, but it is only related in full as an appendix to the novel. Even then, The Transparent King’s story ends in mid-stride leaving the reader to supply the answer and determine the significance it has for the novel.

Midnight Tides: It took me a long time to get into this novel. Much like Erickson’s first novel, The Gardens of the Moon, the beginning of this novel was a struggle for me. This is due, in part, to the fact that this book – the 5th in the series – introduces an entirely new set of characters, in a new location, with no obvious ties to what has happened in the rest of the series. Another factor is that Erickson meticulously lays the foundation for the events in the latter part of the novel. With the exposition concluded, somewhere around the 300 page mark, things get very interesting indeed. The previously unrelated threads combine for a pretty fantastic finish. Erickson, in my opinion, is probably the best epic fantasist currently writing. However, his style is initially somewhat inaccessible; you have to invest time and thought to fully grasp and familiarize yourself with his world. Midnight Tides is a good read – but the pacing and some lackluster scenes towards the end of the novel keep it from being as great as the previous novels.

Vellum: This book is definitely not an easy read, but it is one of the most innovative and compelling works I’ve read. While you’ll find this novel in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section of your local chain bookstore, it really deserves to be in the General Literature section. This is Literature with a capital ‘L.’ There’s a war brewing in Heaven, and it’s being fought everywhere and everywhen. Myths are layered one upon the next and expertly woven together. Past, present, and future exist simultaneously, as do multiple ‘versions’ of each character. By no means am I doing this novel any justice; the words just don’t exist. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up.

February 10, 2008

Kleen Howse, I haz it.

The house got a much needed cleaning. The laundry is done. Grocery shopping is complete. I don't know about you all, but my mental health gets a real boost from having a clean house, clean clothes and a full pantry.

The Major does well with the pantry part -- we're still working on the clean house part. He'll never be as compulsive as I am, but I'm hoping we can downgrade him from a Class 5 Hurricane to a tropical depression. Anything else is just wishful thinking.

February 4, 2008

Primary Blues

Super Tuesday, blah blah blah. Only a handful of states have primaried/caucused, but the field has been winnowed down to 2 candidates on each side. Granted, not everyone who was running was a viable candidate -- but I think every person in the country has the right to chose from all of the contestants. Instead most of us are left with:

McCain: This guy has changed so much from the "Independant" rogue that I liked in the 2000 election. I get the feeling that he's just saying anything and supporting anything to get the nomination.

Clinton: Sweet. Jesus. No. I'm so completely over partisian politics. W has been one of the most divisive figures in modern U.S. politics. Hillary is at least as divisive as W. I also don't trust her, and she also says whatever she thinks will get her elected.

Romney: Ugh. He flips, he flops and he was a total train wreck as the Governor of Mass. But what makes him total slime was the story about his family vacation. Dude put the family dog on the hood of the station wagon in a crate and drove to their destination. Apparently, it was real funny that the dog got so scared it lost control of its bowels. I can't help but wonder, which Americans are going to be treated like his family dog.

Obama: He's young, relatively untried. People like to call him "Osama." I'm not sure he's got policies developed. But of all of them, he's the only one that actually gives me hope that things might just get better.

Because you know for sure with the rest of them it's going to be more of the same -- and we definately don't need anymore of that.

Ho Down

In the light of Super Tuesday tomorrow, I've decided to have a Primary that everyone can get behind -- no winners, no losers, just fun. The topic: Ho-iest Hoes of the 80's. Your candidates are:

Samantha Fox
Stacey Q
Lita Ford
Madonna*
Cher*
I don't see my favorite ho on the list, but I'd like you to consider ______.

*Note: You can only consider Madonna and Cher as they were in the 80's. Because if you were to consider their Ho opus in tota it'd be a landslide. Madonna alone had the Sex book, and the simul-bation in Rome just to irritate the Pope.

January 30, 2008

Discuss

Thesis:

Office Manager is not synonymous with mother.

Corollary:

Administrative ______ is also not equivalent to mother.

January 21, 2008

My Gay Agenda: World Domination

7:15 Wake up, take shower, dress
7:40 Feed dog, kiss el Mayor goodbye, leave house
7:56 Wait at bus stop
8:02 Get on bus, notice I’m the only rider
8:11 Arrive at Metro, get on train
8:24 Attempt to transfer to Red Line, wait for train
8:34 Waiting for Red Line
8:44 Still waiting for Red Line
8:54 Red line arrives
9:30 Get to work
10:00 Make web pages
12:03 Finish web page, go to lobby for lunch
12:07 Someone’s hellspawned crotchfruit pulls fire alarm
12:29 Fire alarm over, eat lunch
1:00 Resume web pages
4:10 Have asinine conversation
4:55 Leave work
6:20 Meet Majorkins for dinner
6:53 Finish dinner, wait for check
7:21 Get check, leave for home
7:36 Walk dog, freeze fingers off
8:02 Relax
9:27 Make popcorn, read
9:30 Fire alarm sounds
9:31 Get dog, wallet, phone, go outside
10:02 Fire department address alarm, lets us know a burst water pipe set the alarm off
10:03 Go back inside
10:04 Fire alarm still ringing
11:03 Fire alarm stops ringing
11:05 Read
11:18 Dog bays at people walking in hallway
11:19 Calm dog down
11:40 Dog barks at people in hallway, again
11:41 Calm dog down
12:07 Cat pukes on desk, clean up desk
12:40 Go to bed

January 10, 2008

Media Mayhem

I came across the following headline via the Elevision this morning:

Bush to be first president in nearly a decade to visit Palestine

The headline struck me as ridiculous and misleading for many reasons.

1) Being the first to do something implies significance. You know, because no one's ever done it before. But someone already did -- a decade ago.

2) Use of the word decade: It means exactly 10 years. It doesn't mean less than 10 years or nearly ten years.

3) If we consider the 'decade' to mean1998 - 2008, then Bush has been President of the USA for 8 of those 10 years. If you consider it's really 'nearly a decade' -- call it 8.5 - 9 years, then what we're really talking about is the fact that this is the first time since Bush has been in office that he's visited Palestine.

The last President to do it before Bush, was Clinton -- his predecessor. But the headline reads as if it's been ages and ages since an American President has been to Palestine, and Bush is doing something fantastic and should be lauded for his efforts. The only problem Bush has had 7 years prior to this one to do something about Palestine. He shouldn't be lauded for doing something he should have done ages ago. It's like praising your kid for finally cleaning his room after already asking him 7 times.

While it is regrettable that Bush has waited so long to visit Palestine, my real problem lays with the media's presentation of this. It's the spin to make it look like he's doing something, he's being the Decider. A more accurate headline would be Bush makes first visit to Palestine.

[I did a lot of research online to find the source of this story and it appears to be from the AP . I saw the headline on the televisions in the elevator at work via Captivate. There's been some minor differences across headlines, but they more or less say the same thing.]

January 9, 2008

Man v. Machine

Things have been a little crazy lately. After recovering from the Family Flu And Cold (2007 edition), I haven't had a nice, normal, quiet day at work. It's been non-stop, go-go-go, get this done NOW! Fortunately, it's enjoyable work. Unfortunately, I haven't really had time to do anything else.

After 2 nights of very little sleep, it all caught up with me this morning. I was happily sleeping in my bed and woke up to pleasant sunlight. I enjoyed it for a couple of moments and then I realized: there's sunlight! OH CRAP! WHAT TIME IS IT?!?!?! A quick glace at the clock let me know it was 9:30 and that I'm now going to be at least 3 hours late to work. [Don't you just love non-rush hour bus schedules?]

I made the best of it, worked like a dog and got a lot done at work. My work groove was running smoothly, but little did I know that the Paper Shredder had other plans for my afternoon. Foolish mortal, don't you know you don't make me shred 4 pages at 4:30? To thwart you I will jam up and force you to use mini screwdrivers to pry little bits of paper out of me. For 30 minutes. Maybe I should have just stayed in bed this morning?

January 1, 2008

2007 Wrap-up

I survived the trip to the tundra, but only just barely. No one acted-up, misbehaved or was otherwise nasty. With the exception of one minor tiff, it was a very pleasant trip. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my nephew who staged a Christmas Pageant with his matchbox cars: "Hi, I'm motorcycle. Let's go to the North Pole."

My loving family did send me home with 2 wonderful gifts: the flu and a head cold. My nose starting running like faucet somewhere around mile 109 on the Ohio Turnpike. The flu induced fever hit shortly after I got home. For reasons that I'm going to leave unwritten, I had to drag myself into work on Thursday and Friday.

By the start of the weekend, I was completely out-of-it. Saturday to Wednesday is a giant blur in my mind. I do know Princess Hot Muffin, the Malator, Assley, the Mayordomo and I had a great meal at my favorite Thai place on Saturday. The rest of the time I was asleep or taking up space on the couch. 2007 went out the way I started it: sick and strung out on meds. I sure hope this isn't some portent that 2008 is going to be more of the same.

2007 -- without a doubt -- was the worst year of my life. I had some good times and reconnected with some old friends, one of whom I never thought I would speak to again. But The Great Nexorcism effectively made 2007 a great steaming pile of mierda. I figure I'm due for some good karma in 2008.

I hope everyone out there in cyberlandia had a great holiday and an even better New Year.