Supernova Suicide

This Primary season has been particularly painful to watch. Partially because it’s been drawn out unnecessarily (like the results of Dancing with the Stars or Idol), but also because we’ve been witness to the implosion and self-immolation of one of the Democratic Party’s top luminaries.

Sen. Clinton never had my support in this Primary. As much as I might have respected her, I had deep concerns about her electability. She, unfortunately, is the most polarizing Democrat out there. Republicans may not be all that keen on Sen. McCain, but they will definitely go to the polls simply to vote against Sen. Clinton. Throw in her vote for the Iraq war, the Flag burning amendment and her tepid response to gay rights and she became a candidate that I didn’t want to support.

I’m not sure at what point in the campaign she went from being a serious candidate to a hollow parody of her former self, but I deeply regret and am very ashamed of her actions in this Primary. Politics can be a very dirty business when you’re in it to win it, but there are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed. It’s been painful to watch a Democrat actively courting and being proud of getting the racist vote. It is even more painful to watch a Democrat say “I’ve still got a chance – if my opponent is assassinated.” But I think the worst thing in this whole situation is watching a very capable and respected woman destroy her credibility, reputation and future. Especially when it's clear -- and it has been clear for quite some time -- that the race is over.

Free Lobotomy with Movie Stub

Holy crap on stick, the new Indiana Jones movie is awful. The Major says it’s not as good as 1 or 3 but better than 2. I say it’s the worst of the lot.

Cate Blanchet and her Hair Piece of Doom are absolutely ridiculous as the ‘bad guy.’ If you can ignore the fact that she’s some super secret Soviet psychic spy (who can’t even read Indy’s mind), you probably will be able to get past the fact that her ‘accent’ is all sorts of wrong. Sometimes she sounds like a Russian, sometimes she sounds British, the rest of the time she sounds like a Briton trying to speak with a Russian accent. At any rate, we’ve seen the template for this villain before – and it was done much better in The Last Crusade.

I’m not going to bore everyone with a detailed break-down of archaeological and historical problems with the movie, but NOTE to Speilberg: The Maya lived in Mexico and Central America, the Inca lived in Peru. The people that lived in Amazon were not Inca and they certainly didn’t speak any dialect of Maya. And they also weren’t known to build temples, and most definitely not temples that look like Chichen Itza got dropped into the rain forest.

There’s not much of a plot, and what there is isn’t very compelling. They’ve also seemed to do away with any and all real world physics. Surviving a nuclear blast in a lead-lined fridge that gets rocket launched across half of Nevada. Really? Didn’t Punky Brewster have a special about killer fridges? Super magnetic items (made from non-magnetic material) that are selectively magnetic and attract other non-magnetic metals? WTF? Is that you Mo-Dean, inter dimensional outer space being? As an added bonus we’ve got really pissed off BulletAnt-ArmyAnt hybrids attacking and a car chase that looked lifted from the chase scene on Endor – I was seriously expecting Ewoks to pop up singing “yub-yub” while slinging rocks at things. Finally, the last time I checked a constrictor snake of any stripe is not going to take well to being used as a rope.

There’s only so much good actors can do with a crappy script and premise. This movie had the potential be so much more … all the elements are there. But it seems someone left this in the blender on puree for way too long. Indy 4 is a real lemon of a movie, and there’s no lemonade to be made from this very, very bad thing.

One Bad Trip

It’s official: topamax is the Devil’s drug. For the last month, I’ve been taking it as a migraine preventative – and it works well. While I was on the medication, I didn’t have a single migraine. This is a great thing, because as I’ve gotten older my migraines have become a lot more frequent; a typical month for me averages 3 to 5 migraines.

BUT, and this is a very large but, the side effects of this drug totally outweigh any benefits I’ve gotten from it.

• Short-term memory loss: I’ve found myself forgetting words, and things that I’m supposed to do. Often, I’d find myself staring into space wondering why I was somewhere and what I was supposed to be doing there.
• Insomnia: Most people experience the exact opposite while on topamax, and have problems staying awake. I, however, frequently had many sleepless nights. For someone who already has difficulty falling asleep, this side effect really pissed me off.
• Depression/Apathy: I really just didn’t give a crap about anything while I was taking this medication. Wake up 50 minutes late? Whatever. Big deadline at work? Meh, I’ll do it tomorrow. I was also very uninterested in things that I normally enjoy. In short, I just didn’t feel like me anymore.

Call me crazy, but I’d rather deal with the migraines than be forgetful, constantly tired depressed space ranger. I think it’s time to go back to the doctor and try something else.

Descontroladas

Hot Track? Check!
MerenBooty Girls? Check!!
My new favorite song? Check, check and Check!

Thievery!!!

While surfing the nets, this little nugget of goodness revealed itself to me. In the spirit of my love for bad sci-fi and fantasy television programs, I thought I'd have a little fun with this 'news' item and make it the basis for an episode of various programs. Consider this my contribution to your ongoing education and the "The More You Know" program.

Supernatural

Dean: Dude, so we've totally gotta chase these Penis Sorcerors down and nail them.
Sam: Do you think we should use a demon trap?
Dean: Yeah, that's a great idea. I'll stand in it and be the bait. When the demon sorceror comes you waste it with the salt shot gun.
Sam: Why don't I stand in the trap and you shoot it?
Dean: Well, because, I'm the more obvious candidate.
Sam: Dude, my penis is so larger than yours.
Dean: Uhn-uh.
Sam: Is too.
Deam: Isn't.
Penis Demon: *poof* Et voila, now yew both 'ave no penises!
Dean: This is all your fault.
Sam: No, it's yours. If you hadn't been so emo over Dad's death for the last season, ...

Charmed

Phoebe: I like totally had a vision that some Sorceror is running around shrinking men's penises.
Piper: We should go check the Family Cookbook to see how to banish this thing.
Paige (aka: pantywaste): (orbs in from stage right). OMGWTFBBQ! My boyfriend's penis is missing. I was totally doing him and BAM! it just disappeared. You gotta help me ... I mean him.
Piper: We were just going to check WikiWitchcraft for a spell. Come up to the attic with us.

Phoebe: You better search faster Piper. It looks like your Leo just lost his wang too.
Piper: Here's something, let's try this.

Halliwells together: By the power of three, leave the penis be.
Pantywaste: By the power of my slutty red hair, return the penis to me!

Piper & Phoebe: That should should have done the trick.
Pantywaste: Eh, whatever. I think I'm going to dump my boyfriend anyway. Did you see the hot delivery boy?

The X-Files

Mulder: (voice over, typing report) I remain convinced that these disappearing penises are the work of a goverment conspiracy meant to cover up the presence of aliens on earth. I myself was a victim.

Scully: (voice over, typing report) After having conducted a through examination of Agent Mulder and the other 'vicitims', I have found no evidence of any alteration, be it chemical, physical, or genetic. It is my opinion that they have been suffering from some form of mass delusion.

Note: Credit for the penis snatching find goes to an intrepid co-worker of the Scorpios. Blame Scott accordingly.

Bender

I decided to go on a shopping bender today. Some people go on drinking benders -- I used to be one of them until I found out that a) alcohol gives me migraines and b) I'm not allowed to drink alcohol while I'm taking my migraine preventative -- I have to think of other ways of blowing off steam.

It's been a craptactularly rainy day here (we were woken up at 8:30 by a massive lightning bolt/thunder clap right outside the condo, and it hasn't let up since), so it was a good day for it. I hauled the Major to the mall -- and let him feed first so he wouldn't be too whiny. Then I proceeded to overhaul my wardrobe. Even better, I didn't buy anything that was red, and I only bought one blue shirt. I'm branching out and exploring new colors and new options. The Scorpios will be happy to know I bought a grayish/tan guayavera looking thing with blue vertical stripes on the front.

Anywho, I'm so exhausted now ... but that's not going to stop me from reading porn to the blind.

A Dog's Life

Roxy is very happy about the new kitties next door. Every time I go out on the balcony, Roxy just has to go to look at the neighbor's balcony to see if the kitties are outside. It's rather funny to watch her jump-bounce her way over there. [Bosco is pretty interested in the kitties too. He likes to sit, stare and meow at them. I took him out there to meet them, and contrary to what the shelter people told me, Bosco actually gets along with other cats.]

Kitties aside, Roxy has been pretty miserable today. It's been raining all day long, and she absolutely hates the rain. She won't walk in it, she won't go out in the balcony in it, she just doesn't want to have anything to do with it. She got all excited for her walk this afternoon, and then when she got downstairs and realized it was raining, she quickly peed and made a beeline for drier climes. Definately not the labador genes there. At least she got a new bed today.

Pet Emporium

Our next door neighbors got 2 new kitties this week. This is relevant because our 'balconies' are separated by a black psuedo-fence. The neighbors have put up plastic chicken wire to height of about 3 feet on the fence, so they can let their kitties outside without having to worry about the cats running away.

One of their new kitties likes to come over and visit us. Friday night, I caught her sitting on one of our deck chairs, staring in at our living room and meowing quietly -- twice. After giving her a bit of love (she likes to roll around on the ground at your feet), I gently returned her to her side of the fence.

Saturday, I saw my neighbors and told them about their kitty's adventures. However, kitty is very quick, and very sneaky and 2 times in less than 2o minutes had snuck back over to visit Bosco and Roxy. Kitty is now confined indoors.

Vatican Vacation

The Pope had this little nugget of wisdom to share with us all yesterday, which quite honestly baffles me. I would argue that pedophiles can indeed be priests; they've been priestifying for quite some time here in the US. But that's really just semantics. I think the Pope meant "the church won't allow pedophiles to be priests." But this just doesn't make a whole lot of sense either. Pedophiles don't advertise that they're pedophiles. I can only imagine the screening process to weed the pedophiles out of the candidate pool.

I don't understand why the Pope didn't say in very strong language that the church condemns this behavior. That it also condemns those parishes, dioceses, etc., that knew of problematic priests and still allowed them to minister. That they will suffer none of this behavior. It begs the question "What are you going to do about it?"

From the Vaults

Here's an oldie, but goodie, from back when Mad TV was teh awesome: