Pop Culture/English 101

What makes a case of diarrhea epic? I would argue that it's when it starts off as a head cold, that becomes a chest cold that morphs into a pseudo-sinus infection and then takes on qualities of the flu before hitting your lower GI tract that keeps you running to the restroom every 15 to 45 minutes for 2 days. Neil says that it's only epic when it hits 3 walls. Which begs the question: whose aim is that bad?

Certainly, I've felt like Frodo going to battle Sauron in Mordor the last few days every time I've shamefully walked into the bathroom. And my stomach has most definately been Reloaded and has had it's fair share of Revolutions, but you could argue that The Matrix really isn't an epic. I've certainly spent enough time in the potty parlor to have watched or read all of Gone with the Wind. So, if it's not epic, what is it?

Maybe it's something along the lines of The Canterbury Tales, The Heptameron, or El Conde lucanor. You know framework stories where there's a new tale each time but the idiots are still basically doing the same thing. Maybe it's episodic like Don Quixote. Today we're tilting at windmills, tomorrow we're wearing a pot on our head, but we're still having that pesky problem with our ass.

Most likely, as I'm blogging about the fact I've been sick as a dog and living in the restroom it can be qualified as a postmodern saga. Beowulf meets The Devil Wears Prada -- although that's really more a bildungsroman. Anywho, I'm off to take some Immodium and vanquish Graendal.