The All-Spark's A Dud

The Transformers movie was half a hot mess. I finally got around to seeing it this past weekend with a friend. We laughed at the 'Satan's Camaro is chasing me' line. There were a number of other really funny lines. Parts of the movie really worked well and were very entertaining.

But somewhere, somehow, the whole movie just fell apart. It wasn't until the credits were rolling that I realized that the movie was much less than met the eye. It wasn't quite blowbots in disguise, but it comes awfully close. I can't quite pin down what went wrong. I do know I didn't like any of the robot models, and the CGI was a whole hot mess. That's not to say the CGI was poorly done. It wasn't. It was poorly executed. When any of the transformers transform, you're left staring at the screen having no clue what you just witnessed. Is that a robot arm? Maybe it's a robot leg? Robot heart? Hole should have wrote a song for this. And I'm seriously annoyed that Bumblebee's head and torso look more like Johnny-5 than a supercool Camaro.

I had such high hopes for this movie. The Transformers were one of my favorite cartoons when I was a kid. I had many of the action figures. (I loved the ones that you combined to form a bigger, badder robot.) I left the theater somewhat disappointed, because it had the potential to be better than it was. I think it would have been easier leave outright hating the movie.

PS. Jon Voigt looks like a bag of moldy suet in the movie. Who left his face out in the rain and let it get all melty?