November 1, 2006


Mr. AJ, master of etiquitte and proper behavior has a few tips for his fellow metro denizens. Please heed this advice, and our commutes and lives will be much better for it.

1) To Curry Boy on the 7B bus this morning. I love curry -- the yellow curry and the peanut curry are my favorites. They're quite tasty. I've even learned how to make peanut curry myself. However, you need to be aware of a few things. The bus is a closed environment with very poor ventilation. Therefore, it seems you need to be reminded that curry is not cologne, deodorant or fabic softener. It's also not a lotion, anti-itch powder, or shower gel. It's also not a smell that's very pleasant in over powering doses at 7:30 in the morning. So, tomorrow morning when you're getting ready, smell yourself, really smell yourself. If you smell anything other than the clean smell of soap, tell your boss you'll be in late, take another shower, and wash your clothes -- (not in the curry powder detergant, or you'll have to repeat these steps, and I'll beat your ass.)

2) To the stuck-up blonde on the Yellow line last night. I know the metro is a crowded place, especially durning rush hour. I know seats are hard to come by. I know the whole thing can be very frustrating and tiring after a long day. However, that does not give you the right to cold-clock me in the knee with your briefcase. (By the way, was that thing filled with bricks?) It also does mean that you walk icily by and pretend that nothing happened. It also does not mean that you stand just on the other side of the partition and pretend like you did nothing wrong. What you do is APOLOGIZE for hitting someone with your briefcase and/or briefcase accessories. If you don't, the next time you might not be so luck to have inflicted a great deal of pain on kind-hearted Mid-westerner, who will forgive you and be the bigger person. You might just hit a thug who will haul off and lay the smack down on your faux-riche ass. Hell, if you do it to me again, I will cause a scene. And I don't think either of us wants that delay in getting home.

So, fellow riders, heed my advice to Curryface and The BriefCase Banger. Also, extrapolate my advice to any situation you're unsure of. Stay tuned, next week, I'm sure I'll be back with more tips.

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