A Good Friend Is Hard To Find

I've been very introspective lately, and there's been one issue that's been on my mind more than any other. I've been wondering if I'm a bad friend, and if --in the specific case I'm thinking about-- there's even anything left there that could be called a friendship. To wit:

Recently, my best friend from college got married. I was unable to go because of my neck. I decided that it was probably not such a good idea because driving to the 7-11 is rather difficult for me. So a long plane trip and then all the events that are associated with a wedding are definately not within my abilities at this point in time.

A few months prior to the event, I called to let her know what had happened to my neck. I also mentioned that money was a little tight, as was vacation time -- so it would be very hard to swing a cross country trip for 2 people (flight, hotel, food, etc.). She was disappointed about my neck, but remained hopeful I would get better -- and she also said "if money's an issue you can always borrow some from your parents." This is were I start to get a little pissed off. Both of my parents are retired, and as their eldest child at 33 years old, I'm not going to ask them for money they don't have so I can go to a social event.

The wedding has come and gone, and I've been thinking about it and hoping it went well. But, I've also realized that if I hadn't been sick, I still wouldn't have went. Yes, there were the money issues to consider. Yes, there were work-related issues to consider. But what really keeps coming to the fore of my mind is that this person is supposedly my best friend. Yet, all communication we've had in the last 2 years has been me calling her. She almost never returns any calls, and I can't remember the last time she called me just to talk. Everytime we've seen each other, I've went to see her (or we've met up in our hometown when we were both home for the holidays).

Is is so wrong of me to be upset that someone who's supposed to be my best friend, doesn't call, doesn't come visit, hasn't been there for me in the last 2-3 years, but still wanted me to fly cross country and deal with all that a destination wedding entails? When she can't even pick up the phone once a month and say "hey, how are you?" I honestly think that I would have made a Herculean effort to attend if I had seen any glimmer that my friendship meant something to her.

Is it wrong of me to want a little acknowledgement and some friend-like behavior from someone who's asking me to take 3 days off work and spend a tidy sum? I'm really conflicted because my heart tells me that friends bend over backwards for each other, and don't ask anything in return. My head is telling me, can such a one-sided relationship truly be called a friendship at this point?

Fortunately, all this is moot, because I couldn't have gone because of the neck.